The Power of Christ in Me - By Debra Courtney

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

THE POWER OF CHRIST IN ME

By Debra Courtney

Many of us begin our lives with the goal of wanting to achieve success.  If we haven't entered our career/calling as a result of being Christ inside minded, we will eventually face a chasm of deep frustration and emptiness.  Success may flatter us temporarily, but does not provide a lasting sense of purpose and fulfillment in us.  Our lives with wrong motives, i.e., money, prestige, and even pressure from parents or peers, are like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.  If that happens over an extended period, a person crashes.

That being said, my significance should come from fulfilling the God-given purpose for which I was uniquely designed.  Asking Him to confirm this in my own life brings “the power of Christ in me”.  Christ has called me to stand for a cause bigger than myself.  I will have opposition to His call; sometimes it even comes from those in my own family, but if God has called me to it, then I can be sure He will make a way.  He has already opened the way before me; however, I must walk in faith, joined with Him to take the land. "...Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9).

So often defeat is what is required before our victory can be won.  Jesus said that unless the seed dies and goes into the ground it cannot bring forth fruit (see John. 12:24).  The vision may yet happen, but however, there is a better success rate if I live a life of “the power of Christ in me”.

The disciples thought they suffered their greatest defeat when Jesus died on the cross; however, this defeat became the greatest victory on earth.  Christ's death gave liberty. Forgiveness came to all men.  The disciples came forth with new strength.  Resurrection and new life came as a result of a "defeat" but later on gave them the boldness they needed because they had “the power of Christ in them”.

Imagine living with the uncertainty of this situation.  One day we work at getting our "house" in order, only to have to pick up the stakes and move.  Our ability to plan is totally gone.  I have experienced this many a time myself in my own life, but even greater is the temptation to move when the cloud did not move because you felt it was time to move.  We think that perhaps the grass is no longer green, perhaps the water was not easily accessible, perhaps the bugs were a problem.  I need “the power of Christ in me” to be my cloud up in the sky.

Nothing has changed.  It is still the same today.  We are not to move unless the Holy Spirit instructs us to do so.  We are not to make that business deal on the basis of whether or not it makes sense but on the leading of the Holy Spirit's "cloud" in our life.  It is a difficult process to move only when we are directed and to remain if we are not.  The pressure is always upon us to move, to plan, to act, but if we act, we may move into a place where the presence of God may not be.  When I have “the power of Christ in me”, I as His child will learn to move when God says move; it is a sign of complete surrender and dependence on the Holy Spirit to direct my steps which brings me “the power of Christ in me” that strengthens me to do all things according to His good pleasure.  

Debra’s life goal is to inspire and motivate women through coaching to become all they have been created and designed to be by using the guiding principles of their Creator’s word in gaining wisdom and understanding their designed-given personality identities and create their independence!  Your Words creates an environment to enhance your living experiences in ways this world cannot.  Your Words creates an environment to enhance your journey in ways this world cannot.   

“I want women today to be transformed out of your lack of fulfillment, frustration, and pain through the benefits of coaching, to stand and run with the promises that have already been promised to you by your Creator, to be challenged and stirred up to go places that you have never dreamed of, to be motivated in wisdom where you can live a life above and beyond in the exploration and discovery found in the 'who' of how you were created.  Coaching is ideal for taking you through this process and for closing the gap between your 'Here & Now' to 'There'."  

Click here to enjoy "Help Me Find It" by Sidewalk Prophets

Boiling Point - A guest post from @Rebecca_Halton

Photo by Debra Courtney

 Boiling Point: When and why a relationship boils over, plus tips for what to do when we get burned

ByRebecca Halton 

We’ve all probably experienced it at one point or another: We get that call, e-mail, text or personal confrontation. Something that’s been simmering beneath the surface (unbeknownst to us) finally boils over. You’re listening to your friend or family member, and at some point you find yourself thinking (or saying):

“Why didn’t you just tell me that before?!”

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not just pointing the finger here (I’m learning how to communicate better, and sooner). But I’ve recently had it happen to me. Twice. Before, when I’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s “boil-over,” I used take on guilt for it. It can be easy to perceive someone’s reaction as your fault.

It can be especially difficult to not feel unhealthy guilt, if someone tries to blame their lack of better communication, or their reaction, on you (directly or “between the lines”). Or it’s especially difficult if someone has a strong emotional response, to something they say you did (or didn’t do). Even if you weren’t aware you were doing it (or not) in the first place!

Here are some helpful tips from me to you, for how to respond when a friend “boils over” — ask yourself or consider the following:

§  Was it really that you did something “wrong” (according to them)? (If so, and you know you did wrong by them, ask for forgiveness or otherwise try to make amends, if they’re receptive to having that process. Which, they may not be at first, or at all.)

§  What else is going on here that has nothing to do with you? You may have just ended up as the punching bag. It may not be as personal (about you) as you think — or even the other person realizes! If it’s a friend, and you’re familiar with what else is going on in her/his life, especially anything stressful, take that into account.

§  Be sensitive to what this teaches you about the needs of this particular friend. One of my natural inclinations has ALWAYS been, that when someone I care about is struggling, I pour on the support and/or encouragement. What’s wrong with that, right? Well, for some people (for whatever reason), they don’t want more support in those moments — or maybe they just don’t want the kind of support you’re giving. Make note of what your friend is saying, and keep that in mind for the future.

§  Be receptive to what this conflict reveals about you. Maybe you have become co-dependent on a friendship, using your role in the friend’s life to fulfill a deeper unmet need in your own life! Or maybe you do have some unrealistic expectations — either way, invite God to search your heart as well.

§ But don’t internalize their criticism as a condemnation of you as a person, or your gifts and talents! Some people like black coffee; some people want a little cream and sugar; some people want artificial sweeteners. It doesn’t mean black coffee is bad!

And I guarantee you: the very thing they’re complaining about, someone else will thank you for. For example, I know I have a gift for encouraging and empathizing — and in a world where there are so many hurting people who feel isolated and uncared for, that’s priceless. Just make note of it for that particular person (or for that particular set of circumstances in that friendship). And if it means modifying (or even ending) that relationship, let it. Just be careful to not let it wrongly modify who you are.

§  Be respectful — don’t be reactive! I know how much it can hurt. You didn’t have bad intentions. You may not have even been aware. But when someone boils over at or about you, in my experience the best thing you can do is respect where they’re at. And respect what they’re asking for. Believe me, it will be tempting to react.

If you feel misunderstood, you’re going to want to explain.
If you feel hurt, you’re going to consider hurting back.

Really try to reserve a reaction, and just respect. One reason being is that it lets the person know they can come to you — preferably sooner next time! They may have held back from coming forward (when things were simmering, vs. boiling) because they didn’t know how you’d react. Or they thought they knew.

But setting an example of respect in your response can not only help diffuse the discord, but it can also strengthen the relationship in the long run, and create a dynamic of reciprocity. (Hopefully they would be just as receptive, if you had a concern.) The other thing I’ve realized, is rarely (if ever) in that moment of heightened emotion, can you reason someone into feeling something different. Absorbing the blow may just have to be an act of grace (or mercy), as will be patiently waiting for a better opportunity to respond.

At the end of the day — through all my experience — I truly believe 99.9 percent of conflict between friends who do actually care about each other, boils down to one of two things: miscommunication or misunderstanding. And the devil can influence both. That’s why we, if we’re the one boiling over, need to step back and turn ourselves down a couple notches, before we inadvertently burn someone. And if we get burned by a friend, we need to step back, bring our hurt and the situation to God, who can best help heal, intervene, and cool things off.

Note: One resource I’m eager to read, and know is really helping a lot of people in the area of interpersonal conflict resolution, is Shelley Hendrix’s book Why Can’t We Just Get Along?

Coming Soon: I’ve told my story — and it’s made multiple appearances on the Westbow Press bestsellers list. Now, I want to help you tell your story! Join my mailing list, and I’ll send you exclusive information about a brand-new coaching program I’ll be launching this fall!

If you have ever considered telling your testimony through a book of your own — but didn’t know where to start or how to finish your manuscript — you won’t want to miss this exclusive opportunity to work with me directly! Whether you need help polishing a manuscript for consideration by a literary agent or publisher – or you’re exploring the idea of self-publishing (like I did) — I’d be honored if you’d me to help you reach that goal of getting your story out there!

If you’ve dreamed of being an author — getting paid to write — and you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, open your heart, and hear my honest feedback, I’d love to work with you towards making that dream a reality.