The Edge - a guest post from @_TheAntiBlog_

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My client has been making good progress, considering. Her story to the untrained heart is gruesome at best and soul-condemning at worse, with a past stained deeply with some of the most horrific acts of unredeemed flesh. Her struggles affect her thought process, her emotions, her actions. Her expectations, her self-worth, her hope are worn and torn to basically shreds. 

The problem isn't that she rejects Christ. She very much believes in His word and His person. But we are still working, possibly unbeknownst to her, on her conversion. I won't even say her "true" conversion, but a conversion to reality instead of perception. Her image and view of Christ, God, faith and salvation is hopelessly entangled in performance and perfection. Add to that mental illness and abandonment and the recipe is nigh to fatal.  She came to me, having been washed off the hands of her family and outcast by her comrades. As we started working together, her sister was willing to be integrated, slowly, back into her life.  Her sister was encouraged because she could see glimmers of change in her, but admittedly remained cautious.

"I've seen this in her before," she said. "It doesn't last very long. It doesn't stick."

"If you keep bringing that expectation around her, I guarantee it won't. You can't heal her, but it will be very hard for her to heal without you."

Her sister and I became the small army of two fighting to help my client make one step at a time. Today, progress has been interrupted by a frantic call from her sister. My client left a note with, to her sister, unintelligible information. However, after all our past sessions, I could decipher the clues.

Thankfully, I don't get pulled over though I'm going at seemingly break-neck speed. She's exactly where I thought she'd be, teetering on her edge.

"It's a little early for you to be out here, don't you think?" Always start with benign, calm dialogue.

"I thought you'd send my sister after me. I was going to do something poetic."

She stands up, and walks to the edge. She turns and looks at me, defeated, weary, hopeless. She looks over the edge and speaks.

"I'm going to fly down to the end. I don't have to wait to see how it plays out. It plays out right here, right now, at the bottom." She looks back at me. "Isn't that better? Isn't that better than this bleak existence?"

"You've given up?"

"I've been thinking...I have nothing. I've ruined everything God has given me. What's the point?" I saw tears fall and a resolve begin to solidify. She starts to look back over the edge.

"Hey!" Desperate and commanding, I grip the moment hoping she still feels her ability to choose. I ask, "Is God still God?" 

She looks at me a little bewildered, then freezes, realizing what is being asked of her. 

"Is God the God He says He is?"

Pausing, I hope it sinks in.

"Is God still God?"

She waited, thinking, knowing the answer would demand a change of her initial solution. More tears fell and the wind started to blow. She took a half step back from the edge and crumpled to the ground. I rushed to her, in awe of the victory grace had just won. She'd been brutally attacked by her past, her weaknesses, and her consequences, and yet God's grace still won.

Created Well is the primary contributor at TheAntiBlog.net. She's a 30-something married Christian who likes to talk about the unexpected, especially the tough stuff. As a communicator, her loves include writing, speaking and teaching. She's been called a "Dream and Vision Consultant" by those she's helped and worked with. Find her on twitter @_TheAntiBlog_ 

The Highs and Lows of Life on Planet Earth - a new post by @ShelleyHendrix

"I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am." 

The Apostle Paul, Philippians 4:11 AMP

I realize I can't speak for you or for others, so here I am, speaking for myself: I haven't learned how to be content yet. I can honestly say that I am learning what it looks like to be "satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted," but I have - by no means - learned it fully yet. 

When I get hit by life's punches, I feel it. And many (most?) of the time, my knee-jerk response is still to throw my hands up in the air with a "what is up with this, God? This isn't fair!" accusation. 

While I am grateful for the growth I see in this area in my life, I'm also grateful to be on the journey to accepting (aka "being content") with the fact that I have not yet arrived. (Isn't it amazing to think that God, always perfectly content, is okay with this, too?)

I remember something I realized about 10 years ago as I agonized over my own immaturity and my own lack of ability to just go with the flow when life was "handing me lemons." I wanted to be upbeat and excited about making "lemonade," but I was sulking and pouting; and then moved into giving myself a verbal beating for not being more mature than I was.

It was in the midst of beating myself up that I cried out to God and said, "I'm so sorry, God. I wish I were more mature than this! I want to be further along in this journey than I am. I'm so embarrassed that I'm not better than I am and that it's taking so long!"

Immediately, a thought came to my mind that I believe wholeheartedly came from God's Spirit within me:

"Shelley, you only think you want to be more mature than you are. But the truth is, you want what Eve wanted - you want independence. You want to not need me so much."

Wow. I did not see that coming!

I had never before realized that in my quest for spiritual maturity, what I was really seeking after was to be strong enough, smart enough, educated enough, wise enough...enough all on my own! 

It dawned on me that this is a "Mission Impossible" if there ever was one! I was created to be in relationship with God and others, and therefore, I don't get to escape my need for Him. As I come to recognize His goodness through this relationship with Him, I also realize that I don't want to escape this dependence upon Him. 

If it were only for the "high's" of life, I may never come to recognize or appreciate my greatest longing - and that is to know and be fully known by my Heavenly Father. 

If you're currently in the "low's" of life on Planet Earth, I invite you to lean into your Heavenly Father with whatever amount of faith you currently possess and let Him be your guide to this place of learning to be content in any and every situation. 

I'd love to hear from you-- How is God speaking to your heart through the High's and Low's of Life on Planet Earth?

Grace and Peace,
Shelley

The God Who Sees ~ By @ShelleyHendrix

So she called the Lord who spoke to her: The God Who Sees, for she said, “In this place, have I actually seen) the One who sees me?” 

Genesis 16:13 HCSB

Even for the most dedicated and growing follower of Jesus Christ, life can become unbearably hard. In my mid-20's I experienced the pain of deep rejection and abandonment when my first husband chose to leave our marriage to pursue a relationship with another woman. I told myself back then that if I could get through this "big pain" of my life...if I could be faithful with this trial...then I would have a testimony I could share with others that would help them. 

And I did.

God has allowed me through the years since 1999 to minister to hurting people who are learning to walk the painful path of redemption - with hope for a brighter, better day.

What I didn't know in 1999 was that there would be other seasons of "big pain" to come.

But what I've experienced, and am finally beginning to accept, is that part of what makes life beautiful is what my friend Stacey describes as the mixture of joy and sorrow, learning to live with our hands open to whatever God chooses to place in our lives. 

If not for His character, we would be without hope!! But because of who God IS, and because of what God DOES, we always, always, always have hope to hold onto!

God sees. He sees you and He sees me. And He isn't about to waste one single, solitary drop of the pain He has lovingly chosen to allow into our lives. 

As we reflect on the reality of the Resurrection this Easter Season, may we "drop our anchor" in the depth of Christ's power, grace, and love. 

My friend, Babbie Mason wrote a beautiful song with this theme in mind in the 1980's called "Trust His Heart." (You can listen to it here and I pray it comforts and encourages you wherever you are on your journey today.)

Boldly I Approach the Throne of Grace ~ A New Post by @ShelleyHendrix

There has been nothing in my life that God has taken from me, or allowed to be taken from me, that hasn't resulted in something better in return. Not like the picture going around social media depicting Jesus asking a child for her small teddy bear so He can give her a bigger one which He hides behind His back - as though bigger always means better.

While I understand and appreciate what the artist is trying to convey (that Jesus doesn't ask us to give Him anything that He doesn't already have something better ready to give us in return), anyone who has suffered genuine loss knows that few losses can actually be replaced. 

Does a new puppy replace a dog who lived with a family for 15 years?
Does a new spouse replace the one a widow or widower grieves?
Does a new child or pregnancy replace a child who has died?

Of course not. We may find comfort in the new and hope in the new and joy in the new. But that doesn't equal a replacement. We are forever changed by and through loss.

What Jesus offers to us, in the midst and wake of loss is something better than what we often gravitate towards in our desire for comfort from pain or avoidance of any additional pain. 

That "something better" is rarely some tangible item or new relationship or anything I can hold onto with my hands or see with my eyes; but rather a truer sense of His goodness and grace and a deeper, richer, truer trust in Him. 

I know this. I've experienced this. I trust this. 

And yet, I struggle with this. I tend to resist whatever causes me pain and when it seems that God is the One causing the pain, my knee-jerk reaction in self-protection is to try to figure out what I must do to get Him to change His mind so that He'll fix life for me and release me from suffering.

And then I remember...

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence (or "boldly approach the Throne of Grace"), so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

(Hebrews 4:14-16 NIV)

The Long Season of Broken Dreams

As I stumble along this unlit pathway in this season, and with a hurting and grieving heart, I approach His throne of Grace with boldness - not in what He might or might not do - not with my hands clasped around my prayer requests or a list of demands - but because there's no place I belong more than right up close to where He is. And there's no place He'd rather be than with me, trusting Him... 

Relinquishing control and resting in His grace once more means that:

• I can choose with my will to let go of things outside of my control. 
• I can rest my weary heart against His and let Him nurture and care for and protect me in the midst of the storm. 

Why was John the only one who got to lay upon Jesus' chest? Perhaps because he was the only one willing to try it.

Abba Father, Please give us the grace and the courage to make ourselves completely vulnerable to you as you already know more about us than we know ourselves. As we come to you just as we are, and as we pour out whatever is inside of us to you, may we willingly yield control to you; and may you increase our faith in you with each breath that we breathe. In Jesus' Name, Amen

Compassion over Consumption

Photo credit: wikimedia commons (creative commons)

“In the words of the Lord Jesus Himself “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35

Merry Christmas, Church4Chicks sisters! I hope you all are experiencing immense joy this holiday season. If joy is not at the top of your list of emotions this Christmas, I’ll be praying God’s peace over your life. For many people, Christmas can be a season that is more bitter than sweet. And for many other people, Christmas is a season of stress. Not a ‘oh my goodness how can I bake 300 cookies and shop for 30 people by next week’ stress, but a ‘I can’t even pay my normal bills, how can I afford to buy gifts for my children’ stress. Not to downplay the busyness and crazy schedule this season entails, but I believe there’s a bit of a distinction between busyness and the stressful burden of struggling to make ends meet. Your friend, your neighbor, your co-worker- there are likely people around you who are really struggling right now. Or, maybe you’re in that season right now. Maybe you’re counting pennies, trying to figure out how to make it through this very expensive month.

I’m reading an amazing book this Advent by my pastor, Louie Giglio. “Waiting Here for You: An Advent Journey of Hope”, has been an incredible way for my husband and I to refocus on the true meaning of this season. About once a week in the Advent devotion, the reading is called “Compassion over Consumption”. It only lists the verse at the beginning of this post: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” There is such truth in that statement. Christmas is about giving. It’s about the gift God gave us in Jesus. We commemorate that gift by giving gifts to each other, but I think we can take it a little overboard in our society. It’s easy for the focus to shift from Jesus to shopping, shopping, shopping.

Gift giving is one of my love languages, so it’s easy for me to go a bit crazy during this time of year. But this year, instead of spending a ton of money on each other, my husband and I have tried to focus on giving to people and groups who have needs. Joy filled my heart the other day when I realized that we have spent more on helping people this Christmas than we’ve spent on gifts for each other. And as I’ve watched our bank account and monitored our spending, it’s amazing how God has sustained us. It almost feels like the giving we’ve been doing hasn’t even come out of our bank account. I mean, I know it has, but God gives us provision when we are generous.

Friends, if the Lord has blessed you this season, look around you. If you look closely, and if you listen, you’ll probably notice the single mom who just looks exhausted. You’ll think about your friend whose husband just lost his job. You’ll remember the people who are mourning this season, or those who are dealing with overwhelming medical bills. God has placed people in front of you who could use some encouragement, whether it be a financial gift or some words of encouragement. And, if you fall into the category I just described, know that I’m praying for you. And I’d encourage you to reach out to the Church4Chicks team if there’s any way we can be praying for you specifically.

Christ has come friends! Rejoice, Emmanuel has come! 

Emily Laney is a social worker, educator, and justice seeker.  She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and is passionate about mobilizing the church to stand for justice and truth.  She is a Passion City Church door holder and manages a refugee resettlement program in Atlanta.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit. Sunsets and Sushi make her happy.