Imitating Christ When You're Unforgiven - a new post by @ShelleyHendrix

"...(B)e imitators of God, as beloved children; 2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma."

 Ephesians 5:1-2

One of the most difficult and painful experiences I've ever faced - and have had to learn to live with - is when I've wronged someone, acknowledged it to them, asked (begged!) for forgiveness and yet didn't receive it. Relationships can be so tricky, can't they? 

Some of the BEST teaching on forgiveness that I've ever heard comes from my mentors at TrueFaced who have taught me that repentance and forgiveness are not means of fixing my behavior, but grace gifts to help heal my relationships. I love that! But what happens when you've repented and yet haven't received forgiveness? What do you do when the offended one becomes an offender by refusing to forgive?

There's only one solution: offer forgiveness for their lack of forgiveness. For me, it has meant that I:

- choose to receive the forgiveness of my Heavenly Father regardless of whether the other person(s) forgives me or not;

- walk in freedom to live my life as I give the other person(s) space and grace to live theirs;

- acknowledge any continued hurts to God and intentionally pray for the person withholding forgiveness.

We, as children of God, can trust that we are beloved by God, and imitate our Savior who modeled perfectly for us what it looks like to love others who may not love us back. Most people are doing the best they can, so if they're withholding forgiveness, it's possible that it's because they don't yet understand the power and freedom forgiveness offers them. 

"Walk in love," my friends. 

Grace: Give as Good as You Get - A Guest Post by Sharla Tilley

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Mark 11:25 NASB

We all want grace. We want to be forgiven for the wrongs we've done. But giving grace? That is another thing entirely.

Most of us have a sense of justice built in. When fighting for people who are oppressed or when deciding who is right or wrong in a situation, our sense of justice is a great help. The time when my sense of justice can be a drawback? Any time I need to exercise forgiveness.

Forgiving someone who has done something wrong can be tough. We’ve all seen extraordinary examples of people forgiving someone who has committed an atrocity against them. It seems impossible. That’s because without God’s grace, it is.

We don’t spend most of our time dealing with someone who has done us an enormous wrong. It is the petty wrongs that we have to forgive over and over. A child lies, a coworker takes credit, a friend snubs… These are the constant daily wrongs that call for us to exercise forgiveness and grace. Are they really wrong? Yes. Are they perhaps small? Yes. Do they really need me to exercise forgiveness and grace? Yes. Is that really hard? YOU BETCHA!

Jesus said, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.” If you have anything, ANYTHING, Jesus said to forgive it. We recognize that the big, monumental things are difficult to forgive, but how are you at forgiving the daily injustices that you endure. I have a sneaking suspicion that those we see exercising grace and forgiveness in ways that look miraculous to us (because they are) have been practicing on those little things all along.

What little things do you have a tough time forgiving? 

Who do you need to show grace to, whether their offense is big or small? 

Make an effort today to consciously forgive those that wrong you.

Sharla Tilley spends most of her time with her crazy six year old and her awesome husband. She is a writer, storyteller, actress, speaker, starter of projects, and rabid chocolate fan who prays daily that she's not too distracted by every shiny squirrel to follow the path that God has for her.

Friends and Forgiveness ~ A Guest Post By Robin Warren

Have you ever had a friend who was just crazy enough to toilet paper a house with you?  Maybe I should ask if you’ve ever toilet papered a house before.  The sad thing about that question is you would think that was something that I did as a teenager (I did).  The truth is that the last time I did it was only a few years ago.  I’m an expert.  Are you surprised?  Are you shocked?  Do you think that’s a terrible thing to do?  Where I come from, it’s usually something you do to friends you love and appreciate.  (What can I say; I grew up in Utah.  They have strange traditions out West.)

We experience different levels of friendship as people come and go in our lives.  Some become close, and some are more like blessed acquaintances.  With some friends you can share your deepest secrets, and with others, you simply enjoy their company, but cannot get past that surface level.  I have many friends, but only a few are invested deeply enough in me to handle what I sometimes dish out.  Those kinds of friends are a rare find, and turnabout is fair play.  In other words, if I can dish it out, I need to be able to take it as well.

That’s why it’s so difficult to watch one of your friends make poor choices. 

One of the biggest fears I think most people have is that if we are honest with a friend, she will walk away and never look back.  Friendship should never be based on the fear that honesty will drive someone away. Yes, honesty in friendship can be painful.  But if you are speaking actual truth (not just some perception) and speaking it in love, a true friend should give you a fair hearing—even if you agree to disagree.

Sometimes even our dearest of friends will hurt us by choosing to disregard any warning.  Forgiveness, even without resolution, is all part of that “Friendship” package.  The sad truth for most of us is that it’s really scary to stand up to a friend.  The real tragedy happens when we’re willing to let someone go the wrong direction rather than offend her.  What a loss!—and, by the way, it’s a cowardly way out and doesn’t stop the pain!  (Preaching to myself here.)  How can you be a true friend and let that friend continue down the path to destruction without throwing a flag? 

Confrontation is difficult

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Proverbs 27:6

Deciding to talk to a friend who is making a devastating choice requires preparation. You will need much prayer and wisdom (borne up by scripture and sometimes by other Godly people).  A knee-jerk response is rarely the best way to proceed.  Trust me; I speak from experience.  With hindsight I say, “Lord, why didn’t you put my foot in my mouth to stop me?”

Sometimes you’ll lose a friend when you stand up to her, but at least you will know you did the right thing.  You will still love and pray for her, and be there for her (if possible), and in the end, your friendship may eventually be restored.  When it does happen after such a difficult confrontation, restoration is a fantastic blessing.  I’ve experienced this personally, and I thank God for the friend I still l have.

Ultimately, all you can do is place your BFF in the Lord’s hands.  Don’t worry.  I hear He has plenty of room, and He’ll never drop her.

In the meantime, God bless and keep you all!

Robin Warren is the wife of Mark Warren, pastor of Richland Baptist Church in Zephyrhills, Florida.  Raised in Utah and the daughter of a Baptist pastor, she has lived in a “fishbowl” for most of her life.  She and Mark have two beautiful daughters and NO pets.

Though her passion is to minister to pastor’s wives, she also works with wives in general, helping them to realize their potential and to know that they are not crazy and they are not alone.  She tries to accomplish this through sharing her love of her Savior and with a sprinkling of humor.

It’s For Freedom that we are Free! ~ A Guest Post by Emily Rose Massey

The 4^th of July- 

Celebrating our independence as a nation that is free to pursue life, liberty, and happiness with BBQ, family gatherings, and spectacular fireworks displays that bring such joy to our hearts, no matter at age 9 or 90.

It truly is such a favorite holiday of mine. So many wonderful memories that I treasure of times spent with my family.

But this year’s Independence Day was much different than the many I have experienced in years past and most definitely much different than many of yours last week.

I awoke to the news that on July 3^rd, 2014, the man who murdered my father received his official guilty sentence- life in prison. He will spend the next 60 years of his life, not free, but behind bars, given a great opportunity to think on his actions for the rest of his life on this earth.

The murder occurred in November 2008 and while many of my dad’s side of the family don’t understand, I chose not to become involved in the pursuit of making sure that this man “paid for what he had done.” If you want to read more of my reasoning behind that decision, you can read my blog post here after I heard about the first hearing at the end of May this year.

There was much commotion and to be quite frank, drama, via social media between family members over the course of a few days that resulted in hateful and bitter comments regarding events in my dad’s life that occurred almost 20 years ago- my parent’s divorce being one of them. My heart was heavy to think that in the midst of such tragedy, people would choose to argue over issues that they have no control over any longer, and truthfully, no business being involved in whatsoever. The tragedy of losing my father almost six years ago now fresh in my mind actually paled in comparison to the unforgiveness and bitterness that I could see surfacing between my family members.

Unforgivess is bondage. It is a yoke that slowly tightens around our neck and chokes the life out of us.

Bitterness is like a cancer that spreads throughout your whole body and affects you completely and everything and everyone around you.

I was given many opportunities this past weekend to take the bait to become offended, but I’m so thankful that I held onto My Jesus and His awesome Word- God’s perfect truth.

The Apostle Paul explains to us the freedom we find in Christ and urges us to not become entangled in sin in Galatians 5:1: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Although Paul is not speaking of unforgiveness specifically in this verse, we do know that unforgiveness is sin that will separate us from God.

Jesus explains to us at the end of the Lord’s Prayer:

^“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).

Allowing unforgiveness to hold you captive keeps you from your Heavenly Father and keeps you from walking in total freedom that Jesus died for us to have.

When He was crucified and His Blood poured out to accomplish God’s ultimate salvation plan for the world (John 3:16), our sins were thrown as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12) and we no longer had to be slaves to sin- we were made free!

When we stand before God in prayer (and eventually at the end of this life here on earth), He sees what Jesus has done. He sees His Son’s precious Blood, and the price that Jesus paid with His very life just so that you and I could have a relationship with Our Heavenly Father through Christ.

So why would we deliberately choose bondage by allowing unforgiveness and bitterness to plague our hearts and keep us from God’s love and the love of others?

I don’t know who you may need to forgive. I don’t know how deep the pain goes, how big or small the offense may be. I don’t know how long you have carried that burden with you.

But I do know that you need to forgive, and you don’t have to do it in your own strength. God has given you the Holy Spirit to help you, to heal you, to change your heart. But you must be the one to make the move. You must CHOOSE to forgive.

Don’t wait.

Do it today.

Do it RIGHT NOW.

Claim your freedom that Jesus so passionately laid down His life for you to have.

Emily Rose Massey is the author of The Vessel: From Marred to Honorable, a true story of a life delivered from the mire and filthy pit and bondage of sexual sin and molded into a vessel for the Lord to flow through to reach others for His Kingdom. She and her husband are both active in many areas of leadership at their church, including worship ministry, drama ministry, children’s ministry, and youth ministry.  In addition to teaching and preaching the Word of God, Emily also pours out her passion for the Lord through her songwriting. Her songs spring forth out of a forgiven heart full of thankfulness and devotion unto God. 

To connect with or learn more about Emily, visit www.emilyrosemassey.com.