"When You Have Every Reason to be Unkind" by Rebecca Halton



Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

I was at the grocery store today, when I noticed a stoic gentleman next to me.  We were browsing the same section of soups.  I was examining a can of chicken and wild rice, when it occurred to me that I might be in his way.  I offered for him to just tell me if he needed me to move.  He plainly and sort of gruffly replied that I was not in the way. 

A short while later, I went to pay for my items.  Ahead of me in the checkout line was the same man.  The cashier was visibly talkative and friendly, yet the man was as quiet and concrete as before.  When it was my turn, I moved to the card swipe and waited for my total, in the meantime smiling and making friendly small talk with the same cashier.  

“Do you have any coupons?” she asked me.  I shook my head that I did not. 

That is when she reached into her register’s drawer and pulled out a reel of coupons, scanning relevant ones.  As she did this, she smiled, I thanked her, and then she commented on how unfriendly that guy had been.  That is when this friendly, warm woman said something I wasn’t expecting:  “If they’re not nice to me, I am not going to help them.”

We concluded the conversation by agreeing that maybe he had just been having a bad day, but I still left repeating that sentence in my mind, not wanting to forget it so I could share it with you.  The truth is that I wonder how many of us think that on any given day.  How many of us quietly qualify or disqualify people to be recipients of our kindness?  

She was simply saying aloud what many of us think.  I know there have been times that I’ve thought that – and acted on it (with a smile still on my face) - That if So-and-So isn’t nice to me, I won’t be nice to him or her.  Why should I?  After all, isn’t that how the world works?  There it is:  When I find myself operating in more of the world’s way, that’s when I act the least like Christ.  

I thank God that is not how He works or how Jesus acted.  Could you imagine?  Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us, and sinners aren’t exactly the nicest kids on the block.  Still, God kindly and mercifully sent Jesus, and Jesus still died for us.  Later, in Romans 12:20, it says that if your enemy is hungry or thirsty, give him (or her) food or drink.  In doing so, you’ll heap burning coals on his or her head.  Now, the burning coals part aside, the point I want to focus on here is the call to action, not the outcome.  The way in which God calls us to extend kindness and forgiveness baffles the world.  It baffles the world, and confounds our enemy the devil, and it gives God room to do what He does best, being good, gracious, merciful, glorious, and as Romans 8:28 says, to work all things for the good of those who love Him. 

Finally, there’s another reason for us to be kind, despite the other person.  Now, I know it feels like a tall order sometimes to be nice to some of the people in our lives, but consider Proverbs 11:17, which says, “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”  That’s right, we think kindness is about the other person, but Proverbs is clear that it’s for our benefit that we should be kind.  

Would you take a moment and thank the Lord with me?  Thank Him for being so good to us, even when we’re not good to Him or each other.  Thank Him for not waiting for us to be nice to Him before helping us.  Thank Him for how He can and will empower us to be kind, even when we have every worldly reason not to be. 

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"Stewards of Mystery" by Melissa Driggers

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Our tables were close to one another, so it took no intentional effort to overhear the conversation between two women sitting at a nearby table.  It went something like this:

(Woman #1):  “I’m so sorry that you are going through this.  Can I pray for you?"

(Woman #2):  “No thanks, I don’t need to bother God with it.  I know this is as good as it gets.  I just have to learn to cope with it.”

Admittedly, my first thought was to dig into my purse, whip out my anointing oil, and lay hands on this woman (OK, I’m kidding…well, sort of).  Since that might have been a disproportional response and also quite ill-timed, I prayed silently.  Her words hung on me (and haunted me) for the rest of the evening.  My heart ached for her, and I so badly wanted “Woman #2” to believe the truth of the power of prayer.  I wanted to tell her that no problem is a “bother” for God.  He cares about it ALL!   I also wanted her to know that she can "...come boldly unto the throne of grace" (Heb. 4:16), not only to ask for strength to endure her current circumstances but that she can pray boldly that God change her circumstances.  I wanted her to know that this doesn’t have to be as good as it gets.

Driving home, though, I began to sense that familiar conviction-hug from God as He showed me my own heart.  If I’m being honest, the truth is that I often approach my prayer life that way, too, with the same “as good as it gets” mindset.  Sure, I pray, but my expectations regarding prayer are often far too low.  

Do I really believe He moves at the sound of my voice? 

Sometimes, the answer is no.  I can sometimes forget and, even worse, doubt that the God of all Creation, the maker of Heaven and Earth, and the Redeemer of my soul not only hears my prayers but is moved by them.  God has not only told us unequivocally through His Word but has proven it time and time again in my own life that He will allow Himself to be influenced through prayer.  I’m certainly not saying that we are more powerful than He is, and indeed only God can bring change.  He is omnipotent.  He may not do everything we say or ask - He is God, and we are not - yet His Word is clear that our prayers influence Him to move. 

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.  Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. (2 Chron. 7:13-15, NIV) 

When I pray, His heart hears, and His hand moves.  

Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found faithful.  (1 Cor. 4:1-2, NAS) 

Do you see that?  We are stewards of the mysteries of God.  Wow.  We have been entrusted with the secrets of God, which have yet to be revealed, and we are called to be faithful to pray.  What better gift can we give to one another than influencing the King of Kings to move on our behalf and to speak what is in His heart into being?  If that isn't a call to prayer, I'm not sure what is.

How can I pray for you? 

Melissa is an itinerant speaker/teacher, blogger and author residing in the South.  She is single (although she prefers the term “unclaimed treasure”) and lives with her two children, Henry and Hannah, who are technically canine (ssshhhh… they don’t know they aren’t human).  Her vision and passion for ministry is to shepherd others to the grace, hope, healing, and restoration found only in Jesus Christ!  Through her own life journey, God has transformed her heart, and she has experienced the true meaning of “beauty from ashes”.

You can connect with Melissa through her web site, at www.infieldsofgrace.com.

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Greatest Need by Melissa Haas @RestoreLifeUs

Photo by Melissa Haas

     

   Greatest Need

 by 

Melissa Haas

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3  

My greatest need is to know God and be known by Him. 

We were created from the very beginning for relationship. God put within us a desire to know and be known, and the goal of our relationship with Him is to grow in intimate connection with Him.  

Sometimes, however, we get knowing God confused with knowing about Him. As believers, we have learned all kinds of things about God—His character and His expectations. Much of what we have learned about God has stayed in our minds, though, and never made it to the part of our heart from which life comes.   

Too often when we open our Bibles or sit down to pray or enter His house to worship, it’s all about us.  He scarcely has time to say, “Hello, friend!” before we are asking Him for something or trying to find an answer to one of our problems. The reality of our relationship with Him right now may be that we don’t see Him as a friend. We see Him as a rich benefactor or as a parent or as our counselor or physician. Truly these are all aspects of who He is, but we don’t truly know Him. We are only in relationship with Him because of the things He gives us, and we’re not really interested in His heart, His needs, His desires, His feelings, and His life.   

We must move beyond the place where we only see God as a provider and disciplinarian. He longs for us to know Him. He wants us to be intimately acquainted with Him. He also wants to know us.   

But wait a minute, Melissa. God already knows me. He created me. He has numbered the hairs of my head. He knows when I come and go. He even knows my thoughts. How can I make myself any more known to Him than that? 

You’re right. He already knows everything about you, but He delights in you relating to Him.   

Think about it this way. Your daughter is very involved in gymnastics, and she’s good—really good.  You know she has a big meet this weekend, and you see how excited and anxious she is about it.  The day of the meet, you sit together with her at the breakfast table, eating pancakes together.  Your daughter has a grin on her face and a look of focused concentration.  You know that in her mind she is thinking about her routines and how she will dismount with a stepless, solid landing.  You venture a question, “What are you thinking about, Sweetie?” 

“Oh, just stuff,” she replies. “Got to go, Mom.  I’ve got a busy day ahead of me.  Love you.” 

As she leaves the table, you can’t help but feel rejected. She didn’t invite you to the meet. She didn’t even tell you about it. Thinking she must just be distracted, you resolve to be at the meet and watch your daughter perform her best gymnastic routines of the year, and you’re there on the front row of the bleachers when she misses her first vault. You’re there when she makes a near perfect score on the floor exercise, and you’re there when she almost falls off the balance beam.  You see the emotions etched in her face and can almost feel her desperation when she gets up to do her exercise on the uneven bars.  She mounts the bars. Your thoughts echo hers—keep moving, don’t miss the bar, get ready for the dismount, tuck, wait, wait, extend! She lands with both feet firmly planted, back arched beautifully, a beaming smile on her face. Jumping up, you clap and whistle and shout praises in her direction, but she never looks your way. She’s hugging her coach and the other players on her team and walking towards the awards stand where she will claim the gold medal as the overall winner of the meet. She acts like she doesn’t even know you are there.   

Disappointed and saddened, you leave the stands and head home. You wanted to share in her happiness, but she was totally unaware of your supporting presence or your desire to be a part of her life. “Maybe tonight,” you think, “she’ll tell me about the meet.”

That evening, sitting at the supper table, your daughter is smiling from ear to ear and off somewhere far away in her thoughts. You ask, “How was your day, Sweetheart?” 

“It was great, Mom! And you know, I’m so glad you let me take gymnastics. You’re a great mom, you know that?”

“Thanks, sweetie, and I’m proud of you.” 

“Well, I think I’ll hit the sack, Mom. I’m beat. Good-night. I love you.” Off she goes, still never sharing anything about her day or her heart with you. 

Does this sound like a crazy scenario? How many times have you ended the day, never sharing anything more of yourself with the Father than maybe a quick prayer of gratitude and love?   

He wants to know you. He wants you to tell Him about your feelings and your thoughts. He wants to be involved in your life. Yes, He sees and knows, but He wants to participate. Give Him that chance.

Melissa Haas currently serves as the Director of Restoration Groups for HopeQuest, a ministry group in Woodstock, Georgia, which helps people struggling with life-dominating issues.  Melissa began her service in ministry in 1993 as an international missionary to Kenya, East Africa, where she and her husband Troy worked as church planters among the Turkana people.  When a significant marital crisis ended their missionary service, Melissa and Troy began a journey of healing and restoration that now serves as the foundation of their ministry to others.  Passionate about spiritual community, healthy marriages, and intimacy with God, Melissa regularly facilitates small groups and teaches and speaks on these topics in order to help the Body of Christ grow relationally with God and each other.  Melissa and Troy and their three children reside in Woodstock, Georgia.

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Comparing Our Pots by @Lori_Kennedy

Photo By Amelia Grace Photography

Comparing Our Pots 

ByLori Kennedy

 “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves.  When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

 II Corinthians 10:12 (NIV)

My sister recently received a new car from our father for her birthday.  I really struggled with this and felt like my father didn’t love me as much as he loves her.  None of my gifts are this good.  This was painful for me. It caused feelings of discontentment, was stealing my joy and filing me with bitterness, envy, anger and feelings of worthlessness.  

I went to see a ministry friend sing at an event.  She has a beautiful voice and I never get tired of hearing her sing.  She constantly amazes me with her gifts and talents. As happy and proud of her as I am, I don’t feel that I’m as gifted or talented.  None of my gifts are this good.  Again, this is painful for me: causing feelings of discontentment, stealing my joy and filling me with bitterness, envy, anger, and feelings of worthlessness. 

Yes, I just said the same thing twice, but you get my point, right? 

We find ourselves comparing our looks, our talents, our weight, our homes, and our children.  In fact, we can compare just about everything that filters through our tainted eyes and enter our struggling hearts.  In every single case, when we compare we lose.  We perceive that we are either better than…or….not enough.  

When we feel better than, we have pride and we may not continue to attempt to move forward in a positive direction since we will feel “good enough” and then possibly think less of that person.  If, for example, you think you are in a better place spiritually than someone else and are comparing your spiritual walk to theirs, you have to ask yourself, “Are you really?”  

On the other hand, when we feel that we don’t measure up, we may feel unworthy and filled with shame.  Sometimes these feelings of inadequacy may make us feel like giving up thinking there is someone more equipped to handle the destiny that God has placed before us to fulfill.   

I do believe that God places people along our paths to challenge us, to cultivate us and to help us to mature in our spiritual walk.  However, whenever there are feelings of shame, unworthiness, or pride that come up, then you need to realize that is a lie from the enemy and is not a message from God.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7 (NKJV).  Some bible versions say self-control or self-discipline instead of a sound mind.  Either way, we are called to walk in confidence of who we are and whose we are, connecting with those that God has placed in our path with the purpose of increasing His Kingdom on Earth and not with the purpose of feeling better than or not enough.   

God has used the example of a potter and his clay in the bible many times.  Just as an earthly potter cannot make the exact same piece two times, God has purposefully created us each differently and with our own destiny to fulfill.  We are all on our own journey and on our own path….each of us is slightly different…we all have different D.N.A.  This is all good…it’s the way He planned it for us.  God states in Micah 6:8 that we are required to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God.  The only way to truly accomplish this task is to seek Him first, and compare ourselves only to Christ and not each other.  

The LIE is that my dad doesn’t love me as much as my sister.  The TRUTH is that my dad was being sensitive to a need in my younger sister’s life.  It was a need I didn’t have.  My dad knows that my precious husband supplies all my provisional needs and my heavenly father supplies all the rest.  My dad doesn’t have to worry about me.  He was called to meet a need in her life and that doesn’t take anything away from his love for me. 

The LIE is that my gifts and talents aren’t good enough.  The TRUTH is that God has blessed me with an anointed and blessed calling.  He has also blessed me with my sweet and anointed friend who is using her gifts to further the gospel.  She is a light and an encouragement in my life.  Our gifting is slightly different and that’s okay because we are uniquely equipped to fulfill the destiny God created for us on this planet.   

The LIE is that I am not good enough.  The TRUTH is that I am good enough.  The Potter created a pot with the exact purpose that is required for His plan.  It’s a unique, one of a kind, creation that has a distinct purpose to fulfill.  The TRUTH is that God loves me just as I am….AND too much to leave me there.  The TRUTH is that God loves YOU just as you are….AND too much to leave YOU there as well.  We will continue to be molded by the Potter throughout our journey on this earth.