How to be Your Own (Single) Person ~ A guest post by @DevotionalDiva

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

How to be Your Own (Single) Person 

ByRenee Fisher 

Do you know how to be your own (single) person?  

Sometimes the hardest person to get along with is you. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of people we just can’t get along with (ask Shelley, she wrote a book on it)! But when it comes to being comfortable in our own skin, it can be tough.

Maybe you’re afraid of being alone. 
+ Desperate Singles
+ Breaking Up With “The One”
+ Why Changing Your Significant Other Won’t Work
+ The Right Way To Breakup
+ How To Handle A Breakup
+ How To Be Your Own (Single) Person
+ Why Breakups Are Hard
+ He (Jesus) Loves You! 

Maybe I’m more co-dependent than I want to admit.  

I wrote in my new book, Loves Me Not,  

“Instead of letting my bitterness [over a breakup] get me down, my confusion led me deep into the heart of Texas.  

I decided it was time for me to be my own person. 

I moved to Texas and joined a nine-month-long Discipleship Training School called Ambassadors For Christ and said goodbye to my friends and family. I couldn’t wait to learn more about writing and the Word. I had so many more questions than answers. I thought I had heard God right about [my ex]. I thought that He said he was “the one” for me. 

I was wrong again. 

How could I be so stupid? 

I hadn’t yet learned it’s actually possible to hear what you only want to hear. It’s easy to mistake God’s voice for my own because all I could hear was the sound of my heartbreak. I understood God’s comfort, but I had yet to understand His ways.” 

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe it’s been years since you’ve been single, or maybe the pain from a previous breakup still threatens to bring tears to your eyes.  

An important lesson we need to learn along the road to adulthood is how to listen to God’s voice instead of our own.  

Who does God say that I am?  

I guarantee you--after you hear how much God really loves you and has a plan for your life-then no one else’s words, plans, or ideas will matter. Plus, it’s easier to be the version God wants you to be versus the other copies-because they’re all carbon, or fake.  

When I was in my early 20’s I had all these grand ideas of what I wanted to do with my life, and who I wanted to become.  

I never thought in a million years that serving God on the mission’s field wasn’t where God wanted me.  

Have you ever felt like a failure at serving God?  

Maybe you thought you heard the voice of God (like I did) only to find out it wasn’t where He wanted you. 

Be encouraged my friends!  

God never wastes a step on the journey towards becoming His child. Since we are made in the image of God, there’s nothing we can do to surprise Him-even when we think we’re perfect (he’s not surprised to find out that we’re not). 

I recently wrote a book entitled Loves Me Not, and I’d love for you to read it! 

I wanted to focus solely on heartbreak and how to find healing God’s way. If you or anyone you know is currently experiencing a broken relationship or a breakup--I encourage you to pick up the eBook for only $2.99. 

Here are a few benefits you will gain from reading this book: 

+ Why Guarding Your Heart Isn’t Enough

+ Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?

Relationships are very important to me.  

God had me wait over twelve years to meet my husband. It’s probably because God knew how long it would take to become the person He wanted me to be-instead of the person I thought I wanted to be. I can’t wait for you to read it and be encouraged.

Renee Fisher, the Devotional Diva®, is the spirited speaker and author of Faithbook of Jesus, Not Another Dating Book, Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, and Loves Me Not. A graduate of Biola University, Renee’s mission in life is to “spur others forward” (Hebrews 10:24) using the lessons learned from her own trials to encourage others in their walk with God. She and her husband, Marc, live in California with their dog, Star. Learn more about Renee at www.devotionaldiva.com.

Revealing Wounds by @ShelleyHendrix (A New Post)

 

"He refreshes and restores my life (my self)"

Psalm 23:3a Amplified

"When you are in the midst of your God-ordained destiny, it WILL expose unhealed wounds in others. Be kind. Offer grace. But keep going." 

~Shelley Hendrix

I posted those opening words above on Twitter and Facebook yesterday after thinking about how this reality has played itself out in my own life. Whether we want them to or not, our lives impact other people's lives--and emotions. One of the starkest examples for me happened in 2007.  I was in the very early years of following God's call on my own life and I had just taken a big risk: I had written a book. I think the statistic out there says that 90% of writers who set out to write a book never finish one, so I felt mixed emotions. On the one hand, I felt pride in my accomplishment, and on the other, absolute terror at the idea that I had actually put enough of myself on paper for others to read, judge, and even mock. 

Through a friend, I was able to get this new book into the hands of an editor for a large, well-known publishing house. Getting the book to him took little effort and I appreciated that. I truly never expected to hear anything from him--and if you knew who I was talking about, you'd understand why. This editor works with the best of the best in this industry; so when he called me on the phone a few weeks later, I was stunned!

I will never forget that phone call nor will I forget his affirmations about the book and my writing style. I will also never be able to forget when he said, "Unfortunately, though, we can't touch it. "So and So's" next book is on Esther." 

The lump building in my throat nearly choked me to death, but I knew I had to hold myself together to get through the call. He was so kind, encouraged me to keep writing, and then we hung up. And then, the dam broke. It was such a big break that it took me nearly four days to clean up the mess it left in its wake. 

I cried out to God, "Why?...Why would You lead me to write a book and work so hard on it only to give this same topic to someone who could write a book about teaching your children to burp the alphabet and it would sell? Did she need this as much as I do? Did I misunderstand You when I sensed you telling me to write this book?" I felt like the butt of a joke. 

I cried on the shoulders of my husband and my children. It seriously broke my heart. 

I wish I could tell you I got over all of that within those four days, but I would be lying. 

What I know now, 6 years later, is that God allowed one of His girls (the other author) to walk in His calling on her life and as she did, allowed me to bump into her just enough to pull back some bandages I had placed over some unhealed wounds in my own soul; wounds with a voice, and played on repeat, mine said, "Who do you think you are?"

"Who do you think you are to write a book?"

"Who do you think you are to think anyone wants to hear what you have to say?"

"Who do you think YOU are; of course people want her books...why do you even bother?"

These questions hurt so much because the accusations behind them seemed so solid. Who was I? Who did I think I was?  

These accusing questions pointed to my insecurities and fears and God loved me enough to bring about just the right circumstances to expose places within my heart that I preferred leaving covered up. These were wounds that God had begun to heal in me in the past, but when it got to a certain point, I guess I put a cute band-aid over some and felt like that was healed enough. Sure, I felt better; but I wasn't whole. Not yet. And because the wound had continued to fester underneath my false covering of a cute band-aid, its voice was louder now than it had ever been. 

I'm thankful to say I learned a lot as I allowed the Voice of Truth to speak into my life. In fact, a few years ago, when I began speaking with my publishers at Harvest House, they too, turned down my Esther book because one of their authors was currently writing one (which came out the same day as "Why Can't We Just Get Along?"). I was so encouraged by my own emotional response to this news. I felt a little discouraged, but more than that, I smiled because I was okay. I could trust that God wasn't taking something away from me in order to give it to someone else He liked better. 

I can also tell you that as I've taken step after step in my own calling, I have become aware of how my own moments of success have revealed wounds in other people. This reality can create the temptation to pull back from a God-ordained destiny if we don't understand this dynamic. It might cause us to feel false-guilt for hurting other people when in truth, we aren't wounding anyone--all we are doing is living our life. God may be using this, though, to reveal unhealed wounds in His other kids. It doesn't necessarily mean that we caused them. 

I close with something my friend, Lori Kennedy, fellow Team C4C Writer had to say about this reality:


"I have encountered this in the past. And, at one point, began to question whether or not I was fulfilling my God-given destiny as I was thinking that my walk and talk shouldn't hurt others. Then I remembered that healing does hurt--but only for a short while. Afterwards, the taste of freedom is incredible! Holding all of that poison inside of you is much worse! We must grieve our wounds because grief says that the wound mattered. Yes, YOUR wounds matter- don't ignore them- don't stuff them- allow God to raise them up in you because maybe He's saying it's time to grieve them and throw off those chains that bind you so that you can walk in FREEDOM!"

• How have you seen your own wounds revealed through someone else's journey?

• How have you seen someone else's wounds revealed as you've walked in your own destiny?

• Is something holding you back from pursuing God's clear call upon your life? Could it be that He is inviting you to allow Him to tend to some covered over wounds?

*****

What about you?

Wisdom: A Girl's Best Friend 31 Day Devotional

Our culture tells us that "Diamonds" are a Girl's Best Friend, but according to the eternal truths of God's Word, we know that Wisdom is supreme! Grab a friend or two and take a 31 day journey through the book of Proverbs with this guide written by Shelley Hendrix to lead you and your discussions. 

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