Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Q & A from the Church 4 Chicks Panel Questions from #FriendMe316 Conference

One of the highlights of the "Friend Me" Conference in Atlanta, GA on March 16, 2013 was our Q and A time with expert panelists, including our own writers. Over the next few weeks/month, we will offer some of the answers to your tough relationship questions. Make sure to subscribe to this blog so that you get the notification (via email) whenever a new post goes live!

Thank you,
Team C4C

From L-R: Lucille Zimmerman, Dawn Owens, Cheryl Laurenza and Regina Howard

Q and A Church 4 Chicks Panel Questions from the Friend Me? Conference

by Cheryl LaurenzaCheryl Laurenza, MA, LPC, NCCBCPCC, CPCS, ACS

Q.  "My Mother in Law was married to a pedophile most of our married life, my Father In Law was in jail off and on, he died. She (Mother in law) still speaks well of him and feels he was "trapped." I am tired of reliving the experience, the horrors- what do I do?" 

A.  "Dear sister, I am so sorry for your pain. I am unsure of what's meant by "reliving the experience/horror." So all I can say is if you are still part of that family, when you spend time with your MIL, and she recounts these things, you need to set firm boundaries with her such as: " I am uncomfortable with this conversation as we do not agree. It will not go anywhere good for our relationship which I value so I am asking you to drop it." Praying for you and also I would suggest speaking to a good counselor to help you, if needed. 

Another question was more a statement about Mother in Laws and Daughter in Laws, please discuss. Best advice here is recognizing your role in your sons life has changed, you must let go and back off, she is his wife and allow her to assume that role. It's hard to not help or jump in, yet asking first and not assuming its ok, is a good idea. Pray for your own heart and attitude, let God deal with hers. 

Another struggle was written about a Mother in Law who is concerned that her Son in Law attends a Church with no SS for her grandkids. You did not mention your daughter? Is she still married to him? Divorced with separate Churches? This is their decision, though you may not agree with it.  Pray for them, and for your grandkids. There are more ways for them to learn than just traditional SS. Do not overstep and lose your ability to speak into your grandkids lives". 

The Refuge Counseling Center
500 Sun Valley Dr. Suite C-1
Roswell, GA 30076
P: 678 693 2281

F: 770 640 9287

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