"When You’re Caught in a Cave" by Jo Ann Fore

He loves me.

He loves me not.

I pluck the blooms from the ox-eye daisy, each falling petal representing a truth that momentarily binds.

I’m loved; I’m gonna be okay.

I’m unloved; how will I ever make it?

How does one hold simultaneously to two contradictory opinions yet believe both?  Doublethink.  That’s what George Orwell (in the novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four) calls this, and we do it far too often, this holding tight to opposing beliefs about God’s love for us.

He loves me.  He loves me not. 

We know this fullness of God’s love, his grace, yet we don’t know.  We believe, yet our doubt somehow overrides our belief.

Why are we here, in this land of doublethink?  I imagine it’s the same question God asked of Elijah, the bold robust mountain man, who held an incredible faith... on most days, anyway.  There was that time he contemplated suicide, that time the backlash of emotional abuse, threats, and manipulation had skewed his perspective. (Read 1 Kings 19 for the whole story.)

Elijah should have been celebrating a great victory; he had just killed all the false prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel.  Unfortunately that slaughter didn’t sit well with Queen Jezebel, a queen who had puppeted her husband, King Ahab, for years as she led an entire nation in Baal-worship and idolatry, but in one short afternoon, the queen had lost control over that nation, all because of Elijah.

Enraged, Jezebel threatened him, and Elijah believed her, eventually landing crumpled and depressed, tucked inside a cave.

There’s such a danger in drifting, the gradual slipping away from truth.

Elijah well knew God’s miracle-performing power and provision, yet he feared for his life because he doubted God could or would protect him this time.  He gave in to Jezebel’s threats, all the while knowing God had the power to save him.  God had proven Himself faithful, but sometimes even that is not enough for those of us with deep-seated hurts.

Elijah had fallen prey to lies.  At a time when he could have been used to make a difference, he fled. With two differing beliefs raging war within him, he leaned heavier on the side of deception. Rather than focusing on all the powerful and supernatural moments he had experienced with God, Elijah chose to believe that an idol-worshiping, prophet-killing queen was bigger than the God he had long served and loved.

Isn’t that the natural bent of a wounded heart?

Elijah started to believe his own lie, accept it as truth. {You hear something long enough, you start to do that.}  But God offers a fresh perspective: The shadows in the cave can lie, bending the Light, but they cannot break it.

Without anger or judgment or blame, God ultimately challenged Elijah {challenges us} to stretch his eyes beyond his current circumstances. God offered Elijah an assignment that I’m certain he wasn’t expecting:  Go back and anoint others.

Purely my speculation here, but I suspect a great anointing is birthed in the pits of pain. ‘Cause that’s just the sort of thing God can do in a cave.

Deeper Still:  Consider a time you felt trapped; what is one thing you could have done to confront any negative feelings?

Jo Ann Fore is a popular blogger and the author of the recently released When A Woman Finds Her Voice: Overcoming Life’s Hurts & Using Your Story to Make a Difference.  Jo Ann serves a powerful promise of hope to a woman’s heart, her encouraging words and coaching experiences helping many women transform broken lives into beautiful ones. 

Connect with Jo Ann online at www.JoAnnFore.com and @JoAnnFore.  You'll also find her at the new www.FaithHappenings.com!