Until I hit a force that literally knocked me to the floor.
This force that was a lot bigger than I was and a lot older. A force that had been around… well since the Garden of Eden you might say. Little did I know that the folks back home were not in control as much as they thought they were and for real neither was I. It worked for me for a long time and during those years that I was gone from them and Carolina and busy doing my own thing this force was as much a part of me as breathing. I just had not realized just how deep into this world one could really go. Kind of like the song by the Eagles, “In a New York Minute”, until I found out just how deep into this world I was about to really become, should I choose to do so.
A Damascus road experience doesn’t have to be a bright shining light from above. It can take on many forms to many as many different people as it needs. The main thing is that it will get your attention sooner or later depending on how much you have neglected the warnings of sooner, and how fast you get into the later stages. Some people catch on fast, some not so fast. This force that I am talking about is the force of manipulation otherwise known as a form of witchcraft.
You know there is a saying that goes something like this: “God doesn’t settle up every Saturday night, but he does settle up.”
Well… my settling up time came and when it came my time for me to catch that experience for myself it was very hard. I had some issues, long time issues. However, that was what it took to get my attention, and get my attention it did. I had two choices to make. It was put to me this way: Debra you can either decide to become better or bitter, to live or die. You choose. You know we do get to choose our choices, but, however, we do not get to choose our consequences.
It took some healing time for me and others. It took some good Biblical counseling for me. It took some serious praying and long conversations to and listening to the Holy Spirit my brand new counselor and comforter now. I remember going to a 12 “In Step” program that Stephen Hendrix was a part of for people who are dealing with life dominating issues. It was not for me so much as an addict. It was for me to understand being a spouse of an addictive person and family members with addictive personalities that I had to live with. I was/am thankful and grateful for this knowledge and understanding I gleaned thru this program. It did help me a lot.
However, I still had a way to go. What I experienced next… well it is as about as hard a thing I have ever had to do. You can’t believe ...then maybe you can…