Confessions of a Good Girl ~ A Guest Post by Alison Everill

I was a straight arrow. Christian home, Christian school. The works! And I was fairly certain that our car started itself and would’ve driven to church without us had we not piled in it like crazy people every Sunday morning.

Fast forward to last Wednesday night’s home group.  The question was posed:  “When did you first realize that you were totally in love with Jesus?” That was easy for me.  I remember the day He claimed my seven-year old heart. I’ve been crazy about Him ever since.  Even now, the thought of Him makes me want to sing.  It’s just what I do.

My issue has never primarily been about whether or not I loved Him. But I have realized that deep in my heart I struggle with believing that HE really loves ME.  I mean, seriously, why would He?  I might have some “nice church-girl” curb appeal, but deep down I am painfully aware of my wicked heart. (Jeremiah 17:9*)

I grew up being taught at church that God had one plan for you, and if you deviated AT ALL God would say, “Good night, Alison, good work; I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”(C’mon, people. Princess Bride!). Failure = Doomsday. For me, Christianity was this wobbly tight rope that you didn’t dare step a toe off of or you could kiss “God’s Best” for your life goodbye. 

It wasn’t until college that all my perfectionistic dreams of being a super-Christian came crashing down.  Here’s the part where you expect me to say that I sowed some wild oats, or started building a stage-worthy testimony.  I didn’t.  But what I did do was just as sinful. I began to despair and fall into a black place in my heart. I couldn’t keep up.  My sins and failures sneered at me every waking moment, and the more I begged for forgiveness, the deeper in the quagmire of guilt I sank.  I was a Christian. Why couldn’t I live in victory?

One night in my dorm room I was struggling.  I mean, doing the ugly-cry and everything.  I felt like I loved a God that didn’t love me back. I was trying, but I was too sinful for Him to accept me.  Then I heard it.  The voice was gentle, but the words were strong.  “Daughter, you are so ungrateful. When you refuse to accept my forgiveness, wallowing in guilt and despair, you are saying that my death on the cross was not good enough for you.  Would you have me climb up to Calvary again?  I will not do it.  It is finished.”

I was stunned…. broken…. changed.

If you are being bullied by guilt, I lovingly implore you not to take Christ’s sacrifice for you so lightly.  God was “pleased to crush Him” for your sin and mine. (Is. 53:10)  Our forgiveness was so expensive because it purchased peace with God. Live in that victory.  Live holy? Absolutely. Motivated by grateful love, not enslaving guilt.

*Note from Shelley Hendrix: Ezekiel 36:26 

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." As new creations in Christ, made anew, we have been given a new heart in place of the one Jeremiah referenced as being "wicked" and untrustworthy. What a sweet, priceless, matchless gift of God's grace and love! Sister, if you have been made a "new creation," you, too, have a NEW heart!! 

Alison Everill is a pastor’s wife and the joyful mom of 3 boys.  She is also a worship leader, songwriter, vocalist, and speaker who loves to serve the body of Christ by ministering in churches and at ladies events.  Her heart’s desire is to encourage women to embrace lives of worship.

Connect with Alison at: www.alisoneverill.com

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And meet her at this year's AWAKEN 1-Day Conference on November 8 when she leads our times of worship!

www.Church4Chicks.com has all the info, so make sure to get your tickets TODAY!!

Living in the Power of Christ...as yourself! ~ By @ShelleyHendrix

If you find yourself dealing with the pull to be something you're not, in order to gain the acceptance of someone else (perhaps even God), I hope you'll take a few minutes to consider what Paul had to say to some real people who had to live real lives--just like us:

Galatians 6:4-5

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that.  Don't be impressed with yourself.  Don't compare yourself with others.  Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

~The Message

"Who you are" ~ Notice that Paul said that it's really important that each one of us takes responsibility for finding out who we really are.  How can we do this? By finding out who GOD says we are!  Invest your time and energy into discovering who you really are based on what Scripture says. Read what the New Testament teaches about the Believer's Identity in Christ.  We live out of our understanding of our identity, not necessarily out of the reality of our identity, so make sure you take the time and energy needed to find out who you are.

"The work that you have been given" ~ Commit yourself to the work God has given you to do with bold confidence.  If you have embraced Christ in faith, then HE lives IN you to equip, enable, and empower you to do the task He has given you to do.  You have everything you need today to do what God has called you to do today, so "Sink yourself into that!"

"Don't compare yourself with others" ~ Oh my, this gets the best of us, doesn't it?  We are all so prone to comparing ourselves, our lives, our jobs, our homes, our cars, our kids, our marriages, our not-marriedness, our no-kids status, our bodies, our financial portfolios, our intelligence, our education level, and on and on... with others'.  This inevitably leads to a lack of authenticity in our relationships, because out of comparison rises a sense of competition.  When I set myself up as your competitor, I'm going to be guarded in how much of myself I offer in relationship (and vice versa).  If I believe we're competitors, I'll either feel "less than" you or "greater than" you.  This is NOT what God has called us to.  If I choose to trust God with who He says I am and how much He loves me just as I am, this frees my heart to be who He says I am, live out of that reality, and in turn, love you just the way He made you.

"Take responsibility...do the creative best...with your own life" ~ Choose to take personal responsibility for whatever God has invited you to be a part of.  Bring all of YOU to the table:  Imperfections, liabilities, flaws as well as your creativity, gifts, energy, resources, etc.  Have fun!  Be intentional!  Be YOU in what God has called you to do, remembering that He is in you, giving you everything you need to accomplish what He has given you to do.

In all of this, remember something very, very important:  The journey is always more significant than the destination.  Each step along the way is vital.  Even when that step is called "failure", you are never called a failure by your Heavenly Father, but sometimes failure is a necessary part of the whole journey.  It is never meant to be a stopping-forever point, though.  How you view God, yourself, and your calling in the midst of failure will determine how long you hang out at that stop sign.

Know who you are; discover your purpose; give yourself fully to it; be responsible to do your best; and trust your very good, very loving Heavenly Father with every single bit of it, and then enjoy this never-dull-often-frightening-adventurous-hang-on-to-Jesus-for-dear-life-that-will-outlast-you Life!

My name is Shelley, and I get to write books, teach God's Word, host a Christian TV Show in the Atlanta area.  I also get to be a part of Church 4 Chicks.  In all honesty, none of that compares with the relationships I get to enjoy because of God's goodness and grace, a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ and relationships with family and friends because of His love poured out to us and through us. 

I'd be honored to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and my personal website at www.ShelleyHendrix.com