When The Cape Doesn't Fit ~ Guest Post by Jill Hart @CWAHM

I am so thrilled to have Jill Hart sharing with us today! I met her through Facebook when she came across a copy of my newest book and asked if I'd be interested in being a guest on her radio program with her co-host, Lori Twichell. It was definitely a "God-connection" as our lives intersected and a friendship was born. I know that so many of us can relate to Jill's story as most of us have tried and tried to find a cape that fits!

~Warmly,
Shelley
        *****************************************

Photo from JillHart.com

When The Cape Doesn’t Fit 

ByJill Hart 

When I first began working from home, I thought I could do it all. Take care of our home, run a business and have time left over to read a good book every now and again. At first, things went pretty smoothly and it felt like the invisible superwoman cape that other women seem to wear was beginning to fit me, too.

A year later our daughter was born and my new reality began to take shape. I was still trying to wear my cape, but it was now oftentimes wrinkled and had a few spit-up stains. But still, I pushed forward – surely I could add motherhood to my list of accomplishments without needing help . . . right?

Somehow I had gotten it into my head that since it was my decision to leave the workforce, my decision to start a business, and my decision to do it all at once; it was necessary that I put forth the hard work and do it all. Without help. See, in my mind none of the other women that I knew seemed to need help. They flitted around me crafting and sewing and running businesses and looking like they had it all together.

Thankfully, God knows what I need much better than I do.

When my daughter was around eight months old, I began getting fevers. I would have the fever for a few hours each day in the late afternoon. They zapped me of all energy and left me completely exhausted. I went to doctor after doctor and they tested me for everything from mono to the West Nile virus, but every test came back negative.  No one could give me a diagnosis, nor could they decide how to treat my random fevers.

After struggling through each day for several weeks, my parents offered to take our daughter for a few days to give me a chance to rest and try to build my strength back up. It was so hard to let go of my baby and allow them to care for her for a few days. I felt like a failure even though the illness was nothing that I had chosen. My superwoman cape was long forgotten, stuffed in the back of a drawer in my brain. I certainly didn’t deserve to wear it.

As the months went by, the fevers eventually faded. I was able to be up and around, caring for my daughter. My parents still came to town often to help me keep up with housework, as they had during much of my illness. My business was still growing little by little and as I felt better, I grew more and more excited about working on new things to add to it.

I learned so much during that time in my life – how to begin letting go of my children, that they WILL be okay without me around 24/7. I learned that I could trust my husband to care for me during sickness – we had only been married for about two years and this was one of the first major hurdles that we had faced together.  I was reminded that life is short and we aren’t promised tomorrow.

I also learned that it was okay to need help once in a while. No matter how hard I try, I simply can’t do it all. My life is richer because of the family and friends that God has given me. I’m a stronger person because of the people who surround me with their love and support. My attitude has become one of thankfulness instead of self-loathing – thankful for the people in my life, thankful for a new chance at life each morning I wake.

The doctors never did figure out what had caused the fevers, but then in 2008 (7 years later) I was diagnosed with Grave’s Disease and my then-doctor suspects that the fevers all those years ago were the beginnings of my thyroid issues. I still struggle with the symptoms from my Grave’s Disease and there are times that I need more help than others.

And that superwoman cape that I thought was my goal? Well, it really didn’t fit me that well anyway.

Jill Hart's entrepreneurial career began in her teens when she spent a summer working with her father who ran his own business. When he put her in charge of a Coke machine and allowed her to keep the profits, she saw the benefits of being her own boss.

She is the cape-less founder of Christian Work at Home Ministries and the co-author of So You Want To Be a Work-at-Home Mom. Jill has articles published in In Touch Magazine, P31 Woman magazine and Focus on the Family’s Thriving Family, as well as across the web on sites like DrLaura.com. She speaks to audiences around the country about faith and business topics.


 Learn more about Jill at www.JillHart.com and connect with her on Facebook  and Twitter @cwahm.

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