Monday, January 27, 2014

Not Marked - by @lori_kennedy

I recently had the opportunity to connect with prolific author, Mary DeMuth about her newest book “Not Marked” which tells about her journey through recovery from childhood sexual abuse which many of you know is near and dear to my heart as I am also a survivor of sexual abuse from those in authority over me outside of my family of origin.  I was honored to help support this book as Mary self published it through a Indiegogo crowdfunding platform since many of the mainstream publishers shied away from it.  I have not yet read it but cannot wait to read it and see what God does in and through Mary with this project.

How did Not Marked come about and why did you decide to write it?

I wrote a post last spring on Deeper Story that went crazy. You can read it here. The comments OVERWHELMED me. So many people shared my story of sexual abuse, and it still affected them today. So I sat down and wrote Not Marked as a gift for them. When I pitched the book to publishers, they said no. Just too risky. And yet I knew it was a message that needed to be out there. So I wrote it anyway, crowdfunded it on Indiegogo, and am publishing it myself.

What's the significance of the title NOT MARKED?

I always felt I had this indelible mark on me after the initial year of sexual abuse when I was five. (You can learn the whole story here. Other predators seemed to see that mark and tried to steal from me again. Thankfully, I learned how to run away. But now I’ve experienced significant healing. So much so, that I no longer feel marked. It’s possible. I’m proof. (as are many others).

When you wrote the book, did you have to walk through further stress, reliving some of the past?

Unfortunately, yes. It’s been 41 years since the sexual abuse. I figured I’d sit down and write the book and be done with it. But as I wrote it, my husband started noticing my downward emotional spiral. That’s when we set a deadline of one week to write the book. I just couldn’t revisit the book for weeks and weeks.

Why did you choose to include your husband’s insights as you wrote the book?

Sexual abuse hurts more than just the victim. My husband suffered for what those boys stole from me. It wasn’t fair—both to me and to him. We have had to have some very frank discussions about uncomfortable things. Initially when we were first married, I could not bring those things up. Eventually I did, and we began to heal together.

He responded to each chapter with a few paragraphs, sharing the perspective of a survivor’s friend or spouse. I know there are many people out there who love a sexual abuse victim but don’t know how to love and support them through the healing. Having Patrick’s voice will help those folks know they’re not alone.

What are some scars you still have? How has your story been redeemed?

I still startle easily. I catastrophize my thinking. (If one bad thing happens, I think the whole world is ending). I still struggle with disconnection during sex. All these things are getting better, but I don’t consider myself fully healed. Heaven brings that.

The transformation has been a decades-long process. I can confidently say that God has done some amazing healing in me. I’m farther than I was five years ago. Today I have a boldness to speak about this issue that can only come from God.

For more information on Not Marked:

His daughter, your sister,

Lori Kennedy

Facebook - lori.d.kennedy
Twitter - lori_kennedy
I-Tunes - Lori Kennedy 

Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love.  He will rejoice over you with singing."

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hey!! We LOVE hearing from our readers and fellow Church Chicks! Please leave a comment to let us know you stopped by!