Monday, June 2, 2014

Practicing Good Boundaries by: @lori_kennedy

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Little children, make sure no one deceives you. The person who practices righteousness is righteous, in the same way that Jesus is righteous.” 1 John 3:7 (CEB)

We all know that if you want to run a marathon, you can’t just jump off the couch and head to the race without training.  If you want to play an instrument, you will need some instruction and training.  Anything you want to get good at, you must practice. Sometimes that can be painful and hard work.  The same goes with creating healthy boundaries. 

The book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Zondervan, 3/1/2002 states that boundary injured individuals are slaves who struggle to make value-based decisions on their own.  They tend to reflect the wishes of those around them and find it difficult to set limits.  It also says that as you begin to implement and practice healthy boundaries in your life, expect to feel some guilt as this is new territory for you.  It goes on to say that you should rejoice in the guilty feelings as they are proof you are heading in the right direction.

I had just read this portion of the book when I received a call from someone I was supposed to meet with several others in less than an hour.  She wanted to reschedule but was imperative to the meeting.  Without her, there was not a need for the meeting.  I didn’t even have everyone’s number to call who was meeting with us and I knew some were already on their way to the site.  She didn’t say she couldn’t meet, she just said that she would rather reschedule.  It was so against my grain to tell her no.  It would be a challenge to reschedule since we were so close to the starting time of our event.  I knew that saying yes would mean I would be the one to take the time and effort to plan a new time while taking several very busy calendars into consideration.  After I hung up the phone, my people pleasing instinct kicked in, I worried she wasn’t going to like me anymore, and I felt like the meanest person on earth for saying no.

While we were meeting, there were several encouragements that were laid out for this person to hear by others at the table.  None were planned and all were God-prompted.  What I realized during our exchange that day was that she was going through something and God had planned in advance that she would be in that place at that time in order for life to be spoken into her heart.  Satan was trying to ensure that she would not come so that she would not be encouraged that day.  Although I never knew the specifics of what she was going through, I left that encounter knowing that my obedience to setting a healthy boundary that day had allowed God’s plan to encourage her thwart the enemy’s plan to allow her to sit in her pit.  As I thought back over what I had recently read in my Boundaries book, I rejoiced in the guilty feelings which had almost allowed me to give in adding more tasks to my “to do” list for later.  I was beginning to practice healthy boundaries and was blessed that God had honored it that day.

What in your life do you need to practice at in order to get better at?

Do you see a place in your life where your boundaries could use some work in order to get healthier?

Christian vocalist and speaker Lori Kennedy believes in sharing the gifts and talents in which Christ has blessed her.  Authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability are imperative to touching hearts for the Lord.  As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse from those in authority over her outside of her family of origin, Lori has had to overcome much to fulfill the destiny that God created just for her! 

You can find out more about Lori and her ministry, Alpha Omega Ministries, at her website

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