“The Lord takes delight in his people, he crowns the humble with victory”
Psalm 149:4 (NIV)
I have always been relatively insecure and struggle with feeling worthy enough on a somewhat regular basis. I have found this to be a lie based on the struggles of my youth and not from God so I combat this lie and, with practice, find myself overcoming it more and more quickly.
This story begins with my insecurity struggles. I was getting ready to work on a new music project and was bumping up against these feelings of unworthiness when praying about who my producer should be for this upcoming project. The Lord kept bringing a name to mind that I felt was “out of my league” and I kept arguing with God about contacting this person out of my fear of rejection. Then the Lord gently reminded me that you fail at 100% of what you don’t attempt and I put myself out there and reached out. Lo and behold this very successful producer, Jason, agreed to do my project for my budgeted amount…woot!
During the several weeks interval between reaching our agreement and beginning our time in the studio, I had my son drive at a concert that I was working. My son has an interest in making music as his career choice. He ended up connecting with some great people that day and one of them felt a need to connect him to someone local who could mentor him on some level. At the end of the day this award winning incredibly talented and successful writer, musician and producer came up to me and had thought of someone he wanted to connect my son with. The person’s name he gave me was Jason, the producer in which I was headed into the studio with the very next week! Wow, what a confirmation from God that I was headed in the right direction!
We went into the studio and were warmly greeted. An additional opportunity was extended to my son to put a song on my project due to the phone call that Jason had received from the tour that very week! What did God have in store here? Well, the answer to that is still unfolding but this is where this story deviates a bit to head toward what I learned that day about opportunities.
We sat down to lunch with Jason after a morning of bringing the sounds together and began to ask questions to get know each other better. What I found out is that Jason has a perspective on opportunities and relationships that he has purposefully developed that were much unlike anything I had come across before. For example, when Jason had the opportunity to meet Jay Leno, he specifically led Jay into conversations about things he knew Jay would be interested in talking about. This was insight to me.
Interestingly enough, I was reading a book by Andy Andrews at the same time called “The Noticer” which had some similar thoughts in it. Andy says that a person that everyone enjoys being around invites opportunities and encouragement. Now I tend to struggle with people pleasing, and the striving that might accompany this didn’t feel very biblical to me. I began to think of my filter and the unintended messages I send out to others. Because of my insecurities, I will tend to hide in a corner instead of engage others in conversation. Due to my broken filter which includes feelings of unworthiness, my bent is to answer questions about myself when asked, but not necessarily push forward past the initial questions asked in conversation for fear someone is just being nice but doesn’t really have an interest in developing a relationship with me because (LIE!) I’m unworthy to be in relationship with. What I realized as I prayed through this is that what I believe is a broken lie. When I make decisions about how to respond through this lie, my perspective turns inward and I become self-centered in my insecurity. Biblically we are to be outwardly focused and not inwardly focused. The whole bible is about relationships and making those who feel invisible know that they are visible to Him and in Him.
In this book, Andy Andrews asks the question, “What is one thing that others would change about you if they could?” I don’t know about others, but I can state one thing I want to change about myself. I want to become more courageous and less insecure. I want to seek out others and find out more about those that God places in my path. This becomes the opportunity I’m seeking…the opportunity to grow in loving others more by placing the cross in front of my fears. By stepping out of the boat and walking through my fear of rejection and feelings of inadequacy, I can encourage and edify others and allow them to know they are seen and important in His eyes. I can shine more brightly for His glory and at the same time create more opportunities to make Him famous!
Are there places in your life where you struggle with feelings of worthlessness?
Is there a lie you believe that you can recognize and then renounce and replace today?
What is God calling you to overcome right now?
Christian vocalist and speaker Lori Kennedy believes in sharing the gifts and talents in which Christ has blessed her. Authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability are imperative to touching hearts for the Lord. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse from those in authority over her outside of her family of origin, Lori has had to overcome much to fulfill the destiny that God created just for her!
You can find out more about Lori and her ministry, Alpha Omega Ministries, at her website www.lorikennedy.com.