Does life have to be hard? by Sherri Sand

God’s been gently and kindly pulling back the covers on some unpleasant perspectives I have. I struggle with pride. This was news to me, which isn’t that surprising since pride is always wrapped in self-deception.

Of all the struggles we have, we rarely acknowledge pride, because pride thinks it’s right which makes it nearly impossible to detect in ourselves.

Because I know God is good and have experienced His kindness daily in my life, I am willing to let Him to show me my stuff. And unlike when your best friend, or your mom points out a failing, there is no “ouchy” sense of shame or embarrassment that comes with these God moments.

The other night, TDH (tall, dark and handsome) didn’t handle a situation with our kids the way I would have. I started replaying the scenario in my head, trying to understand why he didn’t do it the right way. Of course, I didn’t actually think those words, it was more just seeing him as wrong and his way of handling it as wrong.

And I started pulling away from him. Nothing overt. It was very internal. My respect decreased as frustration increased. I judged his lack. Wanting him to become different. Wanting the deficits to be filled. Wanting to clone my thinking into his brain.

All this occurred on an unconscious level until Holy Spirit made it clear what I was doing.

I realized I was measuring everything about the situation against how I would have handled it. Meaning, that my way was the measuring rod. My way.

As soon as God opened my eyes to this, I realized I measure every situation against how I would have handled it.

I sat in stunned revelation and wondered:  Why do I think my way is right?

God softly answered. Pride.

Oh, yuck.

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I reflected on how often over the years of our marriage that I have pulled away and tucked my frustrations around myself like a mini-fortress of disapproval or hurt. Not letting him in. Allowing my way of seeing the world color my acceptance of him.

Not looking at our differences through the eyes of God, who placed us together, but seeing each difficulty through a grid of right versus wrong. Not remembering that we are both integral and unique parts of the body of Christ, but complaining that we weren’t both the same body part. 

The issue is, I could understand him if he was like me. If we were both hands in the body of Christ, or both feet. But when I’m a hand and he’s a foot...frustration over my lack of acceptance and understanding undermines our closeness.

God reminded me that He designed my hubby, just as He designed me. The more I love Mat and the more he loves me, the more we will walk in the fullness of who God created each of us to be.

He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion (Phil. 1:6).

Sherri Sand is an author and speaker. Her unique perspective unlocks truths and biblical mysteries to bring hope to the hurting and peace to the stressed. She desires to lead people into a deeper relationship with God, where living as victorious overcomers becomes the norm rather than an elusive desire. To read her blog and discover more about living in spiritual wholeness and about Sherri’s novel, Leave it to Chance, visit her web site. www.sherrisand.com
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