When Your Role Changes - by @emilylaney

 

fromcollettewithlove (creative commons)

It took about two and a half weeks for me to get my ‘feelings hurt’ for the first time in 2014. Just two and a half weeks, pretty sad, but true. It was one of those moments that makes you flash back to that one time in fifth grade where you’re picked last for kickball, or that awkward 8^th grade dance where  you seem to be the only one without a date. Anyone with me? Remember those moments? I really thought we’d outgrow them but they just take different forms in adulthood.  

I’ll explain the situation a little bit so you can get an idea of where I’m coming from but not to the point where I’m gossiping about a situation in hopes of making myself feel good. I am involved in a ministry where I get to have a leadership role. I love my role in this ministry and am always eager to serve. Well, two and a half weeks into 2014 I was at this ministry position and learned at the last minute that I didn’t get to do my ‘role’. I wasn’t sure if I was forgotten or deliberately left off the list, but I felt embarrassed and just plain bad about myself. Have you ever had one of those moments?  

I put on my happy face, blinked back tears and went about my day, but I struggled with my attitude and my own feelings of insecurity. Why wasn’t I good enough? Did I make my leader mad? Have they been talking about me? Am I failure? 

But before I really went full force into wallowing, I heard the still small voice of the Lord remind me of His truth. “Child, you belong to me. I have placed you here for a reason. All things work for the good of those who are love me and are called according to my purpose (Rom 8:28). Before you were in the womb I knew you and set you apart. (Jer 1:5). And you are my precious child. (1 John 3:2, Rom 8:17) (NOTE- scripture quotes are paraphrased in this paragraph) 

I am so thankful for the word of God and the way that the Lord communicates his truth to us. I rested in his truth and actually ended up having an incredible conversation about the Lord with a woman who was not part of this ministry. I realized after our conversation that she and I were supposed to talk that day. And if I had been busy doing the role I thought I ‘deserved’ I probably wouldn’t have been able to talk to her. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed her.  

 

God has orchestrated your steps for this New Year. Even during situations that are painful or don't make sense, He’s got a plan laid out for you. Even when we can’t see the path in front of us, it’s there and he’s guiding us. When your ‘role’ changes in a relationship, job or ministry, actively seek out God’s voice. Cling to the truth of scripture and seize the moments that God places in front of you. My experience a couple weeks ago was frustrating and disappointing, but in hindsight I can clearly see what God was up to. My prayer for myself is that I can trust God from the beginning that He knows what he’s doing. I’ll pray that for you too.

 

 

Emily Laney is a social worker, educator and justice seeker. She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and loves to help startup nonprofits reach their goals. She is a Passion City Church door holder and leads a team of abolitionists at Not for Sale Georgia.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit. Sunsets and Sushi make her happy. 

You can connect with Emily on twitter @emilylaney or on her blog www.emilylaney.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living on Purpose in the New Year - by @emilylaney

Sally Mahoney (creative commons)

 

 

Happy New Year and happy January Church4Chicks friends! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.  

I love the start of a new year. Out with the old, in with the new. January is an opportunity to start fresh and jump into new adventures for a new year. But January is also a pretty polarizing month full of conflicting emotions as well. For some of you, the cold weather and credit card bill from Christmas are really stressful. Some of you may still not be able to shake the struggles of 2013. Others may have experienced a rough start to the new year, we’re only a few days in but maybe you’re ready for a ‘do over’.  

January can also be a month where we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Maybe you looked back at your goals for 2013 and didn’t feel like you accomplished much. I had 13 goals in 2013 and only fully accomplished 8 of them. There were a few that I didn’t accomplish because of my own lack of discipline, so there was temptation to beat myself up about my lack of progress. But our motto at Church4Chicks is Purpose…without the pressure. We need to live on purpose for the Lord but we have got to take the pressure off ourselves.  

I thought about a few ‘resolutions’ we can all make for the new year to help us live on purpose without the pressure. Here are things I’m going to practice in my life this year:  

1. Celebrate your victories – this one is huge. Maybe your goal was to lose 20 pounds but you only lost 10. Maybe you wanted to read 20 books last year and you only got 15 finished. Yeah, you were a little short of the goal. But you know what? You took steps towards accomplishing your goal. Celebrate the fact that you got closer to where you want to be. Don’t beat yourself up over small shortcomings. Stand up tall, smile, and move forward.  

2. Build others up – Jealousy, insecurities and hurt feelings can lead us to tear others down in order to build ourselves up. We women can be mean to each other sometimes! I’m striving to put aside much of my own self promotion and try to build others up.  

3. Cultivate your passion – God gifted you in unique ways and He instilled unique passion in your heart. Find what you are passionate about and cultivate it. Don’t apologize for it. I spent several years in stagnation because I felt like no one cared about my passion for social justice. But when I stopped worrying about what others thought I became alive as I cultivated my passion for justice. Living on purpose without the pressure requires you to find your passion and pursue it for God’s glory.  

4. Engage in a Community – It can be so easy to live life virtually now with little face to face interaction. It’s also easy to keep friends and family at arms length. But community brings rich accountability and meaningful relationships. Enter into real community with others this year.  

5. Spend time resting – Spend time in prayer, meditate on God’s word, rest in His grace. We all need time to refuel. My childhood pastor once said “Sometimes when you want to give up, all you need is a nap!” Isn’t that the truth? Take time to relax and don’t feel pressured to be the energizer bunny.  And spend some time resting in God’s presence and in His word.  

You are so precious and valued my sister. Take this new year as an opportunity to live in the moment and allow God to use you in amazing ways.  

 

I’d love to hear any goals you have for 2014. Share in the comments below.

 

Emily Laney is a social worker, educator and justice seeker. She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and loves to help startup nonprofits reach their goals. She is a Passion City Church door holder and leads a team of abolitionists at Not for Sale Georgia.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit. Sunsets and Sushi make her happy. 

You can connect with Emily on twitter @emilylaney or on her blog www.emilylaney.com

 

 

 

 

970 Square Feet - by @emilylaney

Photo by Daggerquill (creative commons)

 My generation is growing up.  We’re buying houses, starting families, and furthering our careers in our grown up jobs.  It’s scary and exciting at the same time.  There are so many new developments, new challenges, and wonderful changes that come along with young adulthood.  Most of our friends are experiencing these changes.  They’re having children, embarking on new adventures, and adding stability to their lives.  It’s wonderful to see, but with these exciting developments and new experiences, I’ve found a risk that seems to rear it’s ugly head on occasion:

The risk of comparison.

It’s very easy for me to fixate on where I am in life, and to compare it to where others are.  I’ll use homes as an example.  Our little apartment in Sandy Springs is 970 square feet, and most of the time I love it.  I love that there is no more room for anything - No more furniture, no more clothes, no more random decorative things I don’t need.  If I buy more clothes, I need to get rid of clothes.  If I buy new books, I need to get rid of books.  It’s a fantastic sense of equilibrium.  It’s not terribly grown up apartment either.  Unframed paintings from Haiti and the Dominican Republic adorn our ‘dining room’.  The cheap apartment carpet is horribly stained (we have a dog, and there’s nothing I can do about it).  We have a three-foot wooden camel and a six-foot wooden giraffe. There is also a three-foot giraffe in the bedroom.  Their names are Bill, Kajo, and Keji.  Empty beverage bottles, knick-knacks,  and collector Starbucks mugs haphazardly add dimension above our 1980′s era kitchen cabinets, and my linen closet is a 20-dollar shelf from Target.  I’m not a terribly fancy person with fabulous taste, so I’ll probably always have my wooden animals and paintings that I bought off the side of the road in developing countries.

Even though I love our apartment and where we are, in my seasons of doubt I have found myself wondering what others think about our small simple space.  I have sneaked into comparison-land, thinking that maybe I’m not as ‘good’ as others.  We have friends who have big beautiful houses with gorgeous decor and updated features.  About 99% of the time I feel no iota of insecurity or comparison, but every once in awhile, I allow myself to slip into that pattern.  Am I good enough?  What do people think?  Should I do things differently to get approval?

Ultimately life is about embracing who you are and who God made you to be.  It’s okay if it doesn’t include cherry cabinets and immaculately decorated homes; it’s okay if it DOES include that.  Maybe your ‘thing’ isn’t a house.  Maybe it’s relationship status.  Maybe it’s where you are vocationally.  Ultimately, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others.  

You are where you are for a reason.  Whether you are 22 and buying your first house or 45 and living in a one bedroom apartment, we all need to embrace where we are.  Whether your career is going perfectly and you’re climbing the ladder to your dream job, or if you’ve just been laid off and have no idea what’s next, trust that God is leading you and that HE is your identity.

Comparison causes us to be envious and to take our eyes off of what God has for us, and where we are going next.  It’s a great way to completely derail yourself from the amazing path you’re on.  I’m choosing to be content in my 970 square feet, embracing where we are, striving to be a good neighbor, and practicing Biblical hospitality the best I can.  By focusing on the here and now, I can leverage the amazing place God has me for HIS glory.

What do you focus on?  
How have you compared yourself to others?  
What do you do when self doubt and seeds of envy sneak in?

¹⁰ Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God, or am I trying to 

please people?  If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."  

Galatians 1:10

Emily Laney is a social worker, educator and justice seeker. She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and loves to help startup nonprofits reach their goals. She is a Passion City Church door holder and leads a team of abolitionists at Not for Sale Georgia.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit. Sunsets and Sushi make her happy. 


You can connect with Emily on twitter @emilylaney or on her blog www.emilylaney.com

Battling it Out - by @emilylaney

Photo credit: snow0810 (creative commons)

Battling It Out

By

Emily Walters Laney

Have you ever gotten in a fight? Fist fight, fight with words, cold war with the silent treatment? I think you would have to be living under a rock if you could honestly tell me you’ve never experienced any sort of conflict. It’s part of the human condition. We don’t always get along. We are people- conflict is just part of the story. And sometimes conflict results in growth and positive changes. Sometimes you have to be refined in the fire in order to really be transformed.

Sometimes our conflicts are with people, and sometimes our conflicts are with life itself. Maybe the struggle came from an interpersonal issue, or maybe it’s just from life circumstances that have resulted in a situation that is less than ideal. Maybe I’m not making sense, but essentially the question is this: have you ever felt like you were battling life? No matter what you do, the overall circumstances just feel like a fight? You’re in the ring, you have the boxing gloves on, and you are trying to ward off the circumstances, doubt, and struggles that seem to be attacking you from all sides.

I’ll be the first to say that I’ve led a very blessed life, and my periods of trial have been minimal compared to other people. I’ve always had food to eat, a place to sleep, and clothes to wear. My problems have always been ‘first world problems’. But there have still been periods of trial, periods of a battle, where I felt weary and tired from the struggles around me. Right now things are calm, but I usually find myself staring at my boxing gloves, wondering if I’ll need to put them on soon. The lessons that God has taught me over the years are fresh in my mind, but the enemy is trying to make me forget God’s faithfulness. In my mind I’m touching the gloves that symbolize that battle, wondering what is going to happen in three weeks, six weeks, three months, six months. Will I have to put the gloves on and enter the ring once again?

But as I touch the gloves, wondering if they still fit and what’s going to happen in the future, a verse comes to mind.

The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still. – Exodus 14:14.

Wait what? God will fight for me? Seems too good to be true. Isn’t there a verse that says “God helps those who help themselves?” I need to fight for myself! (actually, there isn’t a verse that says that, just wanted to throw that in there because I know we’ve all thought that before or had a well intentioned friend/relative/boss/acquaintance tell us that)

The Lord will fight for me. I know that. He’s done it before. He’s won many huge battles for me and my family over the years. Things have happened that I can only attribute to God’s incredible ability to fight for me. He loves us, and he’s there.

So, if you’re like me, always staring at those boxing gloves, walk away. Or better yet, hand them to God. If you’re in the ring, struggling to make it through the fight, step out of the ring and let God take your place. He wants to fight for us, we only need to be still. Rest in that today. I know I’m trying to.

 
Emily Laney is a social worker, educator and justice seeker. She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and loves to help startup nonprofits reach their goals. She is a Passion City Church door holder and leads a team of abolitionists at Not for Sale Georgia.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit. Sunsets and Sushi make her happy. 

You can connect with Emily on twitter @emilylaney or on her blog www.emilylaney.com

The Power of Forgiveness - By @Emily Laney

Photo credit: Keoni Cabral 
(creative commons)

The Power of Forgiveness
 

By 
Emily Walters Laney

I love this month’s theme on the Church 4 Chicks blog: “The Power of Christ IN us”.  It’s a simple statement, but it really packs a punch, and honestly, I didn’t know where to start with this post at first.  I mean, how do you encompass such a powerful statement in 500 words?  

Over breakfast at our favorite local spot one Saturday, I explained the theme to my husband. “What should I write about?” I asked him as I took a bite of my cinnamon roll French toast (FYI, best breakfast ever, so good.) 

He didn’t even hesitate with his answer, “Forgiveness.” 

At first I was hesitant, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he is absolutely right.  What demonstrates the power of Christ in us more than our ability to forgive?  I think about the cross, and as Christ was suffering immense pain that most of us can’t even fathom, he spoke truth over the whole world.  

“Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" – Luke 23:34a. 

The humility, the restraint, the power that Jesus demonstrated with those words are hard for me to comprehend sometimes.  The Creator of the Universe came to walk with us, to dwell with us, and then He suffered and died for us, and he forgave us!  I know in my own life I betray Christ and deny Him in many ways.  I don’t stand up for my faith like I should.  I am quiet when I should speak up more for His truth.  I am silent about injustice when I should tirelessly advocate.  I am prideful and look out for my own interests over those of others.  I’m a mess y’all, and even though I have plenty of things to ask forgiveness for, sometimes I can be slow to forgive others. 

I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I can be pretty sensitive.  I also really love to be in close community with others, so when I feel left out, betrayed, or ignored, it hurts.  Even though I have been forgiven for so many things (see above), I still struggle to forgive others.  I was reminded of this recently as I ruminated over a situation for days.  It got to a point where I knew that my lack of forgiveness was going to hurt me more than it would hurt the person by whom I felt betrayed.

Forgiveness isn’t easy.  Life is hard, and the source of our pain is usually from people close to us. We are all human, and we all have been on the giving and receiving sides of pain.  Some of the pain that we experience in this life feels unbearable.  Sometimes the hurts committed against us feels so crippling and so intense that we don’t think we could possibly offer forgiveness. 

That’s where the power of Christ comes in.  Christ dwells in us, and it’s with His power that we can forgive.  It’s not always easy, but with Him all things are possible.  If you are holding on to hurts, know that Christ wants to take that burden.  My prayer is that all of us can encourage and lift each other up to fully embrace the power that comes when we forgive.  

Emily Laney Bio:

Emily Laney is a social worker, educator, and justice seeker.  She has worked with vulnerable populations in the United States and abroad and loves to help startup nonprofits reach their goals.  She is a Passion City Church door holder and leads a team of abolitionists at Not for Sale Georgia.  She loves her husband Brent and their rescue pup Biscuit.  Sunsets and Sushi make her happy.  

You can connect with Emily on twitter @emilylaney or on her blog www.emilylaney.com

Matthew West - Forgiveness (Official Lyric Video) from matthew-west on GodTube.