"When You’re Tired of the Season You’re In" By Rebecca Halton



Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

 

Matthew  11:28-30

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”



As I write this, it’s snowing outside my window, the first “real” snow of Winter.  It’s so beautiful and pure.  Like a newborn, the first snow is excitedly welcomed – especially after nine months of waiting.  Before the work and fatigue of parenting begins, there is this sweet time of sheer joy that the season has begun.

That’s what today was like, just joy.  Then again, I haven’t had to go out in it, yet.  I haven’t yet had a backache from shoveling.  The snow itself isn’t yet marred by dirty tire tracks (and dogs with full bladders), and it has not yet been three months of Winter, Winter, and more Winter.  Ask me in February how excited I get when it starts snowing – again.

This is how seasons usually begin: they’re new again, and so is our enthusiasm.  If you’re like me, you promise yourself less grumbling this year than the year before.  You promise to be grateful, even when you’re craving springtime. You promise to be thankful, even when you’re scraping ice off your windshield – for the 60^th time.

This is also how seasons begin in my life.  I usually embark excitedly on each new or renewed season.  I have every intention of less gripe and more gratitude.  I won’t become as weary (or lazy) as in seasons past.  I have every intention of not getting tired of persevering, planting seeds, and trusting God.

This reminds me of a 10K “Turkey Trot” I ran the week before Thanksgiving this year.  When the race began, I was pumped.  I was enthusiastic and energized.  In fact, I was listening to such a powerful piece of spoken word by Gungor that I actually started tearing up.  I felt ready, grateful, and motivated.

Three miles later, I wasn’t as excited.  I was starting to grow weary, and my lack of training was starting to show.  By mile five, I really began to feel the pain.  My muscles were fatigued, and certain bones had started to ache.  I was physically tired – and tired of the monotony of running.  I wanted to put my feet up, not one in front of the other.

Determination and willpower alone would now decide if I’d reap the victory of finishing the race and when.  Sometimes we don’t have that influence over timing.  Unlike that race, I can’t fast-forward Winter, no matter how much I will eventually want it to speed up to Spring.  In life, this is where discernment comes in.

Sometimes we’re in a season through which we’ll just have to persevere, until God says it’s time for a new season.  In other times, we could make an 11-day journey in 11 days (unlike the 40 years it took the Israelites).  Sometimes, it’s us; sometimes we’re the hold up.  We decide to stop or slow down at mile three.

Then we either never arrive, or we take twice as long to get there.  The season passes without us fully discovering it.  In some cases, that season will come around again, like Winter does, but sometimes, it is a missed opportunity.  This is why I pray for the fortitude you and I need to follow through.

 

It's also why I pray for us to have eyes that see both the beauty and the purpose in each season.  Sometimes the purpose doesn’t look pretty, but even muddy snow is still snow with a purpose. 

 
To learn more about Rebecca, co-founder of TeamRedeemed.org with Shelley Hendrix, visit www.rebeccahalton.com.

 Photo by Sarah Verno of Breakthrough Photo + Design

 

Click here to enjoy a video to Lincoln Brewster's "Today Is The Day"

 

 



Where to Go When Life Gets Turbulent

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Where to Go When Life Gets Turbulent

By

Rebecca Halton

 

As I checked in at Hartsfield-Jackson three days after Awaken 2013, the touch-screen computer asked me if I wanted to change my seat assignment.  Curious, I looked at what was available.  Most of the plane was full, but there in the first row, was one open seat.   

It would cost a small fee to change from my aisle seat in the back, to this window seat in the front, but then I considered the bumpy, closed-in feeling of being in the back on the flight to Atlanta.  And I recalled the advice my dad, a retired helicopter pilot, gave me:  

The most stable place on a plane is over the wings; the second-most stable is in front of the wings; and the least stable is in the back of the aircraft.  

No-brainer: I switched seats.  

During the flight, I kept pondering my dad’s advice -- and noticed a parallel for life.  When life gets turbulent, some places are better to “seat ourselves” in than others.  How about row 19A in the rear – as in ‘A’ for anxiety?  No?  Stomach already starting to turn? 

Then how about the place known – and proven through the laws of aerodynamics and physics – to be the most stable place?  The wings.  Or in this analogy: His wings.  Where there is always a seat available for you, and sanctuary is always assured.  In fact: 

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrows that fly by day….  If you say, ‘The Lord is my refuge,’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.” (Psalm 91:4, 5, 9 and 10, NIV) Click here for the full passage. 

Sometimes seating yourself beneath His wings will involve effort on your part.  Or will come at a cost.  I couldn’t move to a more stable place without paying that extra fee.  In most cases, though, the cost is our comfort, fear, habits, expectations, or sense of control. 

But the greatest cost of all, Jesus already paid.  He paid the price for us to have unlimited, first-class seating under the wings of the Father.  The place in which, no matter what storms rage around us, or turbulent circumstances rock us, is proven to be our best refuge. 

 

Rebecca Halton is an author and speaker, as well as the other half of Team Redeemed (with Shelley Hendrix).  She recently released her third e-book Recalculating: What to do when your life has gone in a different direction than you thought it should.  When she’s not writing, Rebecca loves grabbing coffee with close friends, and learning how to better manage her emotions.  (Photo credit: Sarah Verno)

 

"When You Have Every Reason to be Unkind" by Rebecca Halton



Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

I was at the grocery store today, when I noticed a stoic gentleman next to me.  We were browsing the same section of soups.  I was examining a can of chicken and wild rice, when it occurred to me that I might be in his way.  I offered for him to just tell me if he needed me to move.  He plainly and sort of gruffly replied that I was not in the way. 

A short while later, I went to pay for my items.  Ahead of me in the checkout line was the same man.  The cashier was visibly talkative and friendly, yet the man was as quiet and concrete as before.  When it was my turn, I moved to the card swipe and waited for my total, in the meantime smiling and making friendly small talk with the same cashier.  

“Do you have any coupons?” she asked me.  I shook my head that I did not. 

That is when she reached into her register’s drawer and pulled out a reel of coupons, scanning relevant ones.  As she did this, she smiled, I thanked her, and then she commented on how unfriendly that guy had been.  That is when this friendly, warm woman said something I wasn’t expecting:  “If they’re not nice to me, I am not going to help them.”

We concluded the conversation by agreeing that maybe he had just been having a bad day, but I still left repeating that sentence in my mind, not wanting to forget it so I could share it with you.  The truth is that I wonder how many of us think that on any given day.  How many of us quietly qualify or disqualify people to be recipients of our kindness?  

She was simply saying aloud what many of us think.  I know there have been times that I’ve thought that – and acted on it (with a smile still on my face) - That if So-and-So isn’t nice to me, I won’t be nice to him or her.  Why should I?  After all, isn’t that how the world works?  There it is:  When I find myself operating in more of the world’s way, that’s when I act the least like Christ.  

I thank God that is not how He works or how Jesus acted.  Could you imagine?  Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us, and sinners aren’t exactly the nicest kids on the block.  Still, God kindly and mercifully sent Jesus, and Jesus still died for us.  Later, in Romans 12:20, it says that if your enemy is hungry or thirsty, give him (or her) food or drink.  In doing so, you’ll heap burning coals on his or her head.  Now, the burning coals part aside, the point I want to focus on here is the call to action, not the outcome.  The way in which God calls us to extend kindness and forgiveness baffles the world.  It baffles the world, and confounds our enemy the devil, and it gives God room to do what He does best, being good, gracious, merciful, glorious, and as Romans 8:28 says, to work all things for the good of those who love Him. 

Finally, there’s another reason for us to be kind, despite the other person.  Now, I know it feels like a tall order sometimes to be nice to some of the people in our lives, but consider Proverbs 11:17, which says, “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”  That’s right, we think kindness is about the other person, but Proverbs is clear that it’s for our benefit that we should be kind.  

Would you take a moment and thank the Lord with me?  Thank Him for being so good to us, even when we’re not good to Him or each other.  Thank Him for not waiting for us to be nice to Him before helping us.  Thank Him for how He can and will empower us to be kind, even when we have every worldly reason not to be. 

Westbow Press bestsellers list.  Now, I want to help you tell your story!  Join my mailing list, and I’ll send you exclusive information about a brand-new coaching program I’ll be launching this fall!

If you have ever considered telling your testimony through a book of your own — but didn’t know where to start or how to finish your manuscript — you won’t want to miss this exclusive opportunity to work with me directly!  Whether you need help polishing a manuscript for consideration by a literary agent or publisher – or you’re exploring the idea of self-publishing (like I did) — I’d be honored if you’d me to help you reach that goal of getting your story out there!

If you’ve dreamed of being an author — getting paid to write — and you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, open your heart, and hear my honest feedback, I’d love to work with you towards making that dream a reality.

  

Boiling Point - A guest post from @Rebecca_Halton

Photo by Debra Courtney

 Boiling Point: When and why a relationship boils over, plus tips for what to do when we get burned

ByRebecca Halton 

We’ve all probably experienced it at one point or another: We get that call, e-mail, text or personal confrontation. Something that’s been simmering beneath the surface (unbeknownst to us) finally boils over. You’re listening to your friend or family member, and at some point you find yourself thinking (or saying):

“Why didn’t you just tell me that before?!”

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not just pointing the finger here (I’m learning how to communicate better, and sooner). But I’ve recently had it happen to me. Twice. Before, when I’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s “boil-over,” I used take on guilt for it. It can be easy to perceive someone’s reaction as your fault.

It can be especially difficult to not feel unhealthy guilt, if someone tries to blame their lack of better communication, or their reaction, on you (directly or “between the lines”). Or it’s especially difficult if someone has a strong emotional response, to something they say you did (or didn’t do). Even if you weren’t aware you were doing it (or not) in the first place!

Here are some helpful tips from me to you, for how to respond when a friend “boils over” — ask yourself or consider the following:

§  Was it really that you did something “wrong” (according to them)? (If so, and you know you did wrong by them, ask for forgiveness or otherwise try to make amends, if they’re receptive to having that process. Which, they may not be at first, or at all.)

§  What else is going on here that has nothing to do with you? You may have just ended up as the punching bag. It may not be as personal (about you) as you think — or even the other person realizes! If it’s a friend, and you’re familiar with what else is going on in her/his life, especially anything stressful, take that into account.

§  Be sensitive to what this teaches you about the needs of this particular friend. One of my natural inclinations has ALWAYS been, that when someone I care about is struggling, I pour on the support and/or encouragement. What’s wrong with that, right? Well, for some people (for whatever reason), they don’t want more support in those moments — or maybe they just don’t want the kind of support you’re giving. Make note of what your friend is saying, and keep that in mind for the future.

§  Be receptive to what this conflict reveals about you. Maybe you have become co-dependent on a friendship, using your role in the friend’s life to fulfill a deeper unmet need in your own life! Or maybe you do have some unrealistic expectations — either way, invite God to search your heart as well.

§ But don’t internalize their criticism as a condemnation of you as a person, or your gifts and talents! Some people like black coffee; some people want a little cream and sugar; some people want artificial sweeteners. It doesn’t mean black coffee is bad!

And I guarantee you: the very thing they’re complaining about, someone else will thank you for. For example, I know I have a gift for encouraging and empathizing — and in a world where there are so many hurting people who feel isolated and uncared for, that’s priceless. Just make note of it for that particular person (or for that particular set of circumstances in that friendship). And if it means modifying (or even ending) that relationship, let it. Just be careful to not let it wrongly modify who you are.

§  Be respectful — don’t be reactive! I know how much it can hurt. You didn’t have bad intentions. You may not have even been aware. But when someone boils over at or about you, in my experience the best thing you can do is respect where they’re at. And respect what they’re asking for. Believe me, it will be tempting to react.

If you feel misunderstood, you’re going to want to explain.
If you feel hurt, you’re going to consider hurting back.

Really try to reserve a reaction, and just respect. One reason being is that it lets the person know they can come to you — preferably sooner next time! They may have held back from coming forward (when things were simmering, vs. boiling) because they didn’t know how you’d react. Or they thought they knew.

But setting an example of respect in your response can not only help diffuse the discord, but it can also strengthen the relationship in the long run, and create a dynamic of reciprocity. (Hopefully they would be just as receptive, if you had a concern.) The other thing I’ve realized, is rarely (if ever) in that moment of heightened emotion, can you reason someone into feeling something different. Absorbing the blow may just have to be an act of grace (or mercy), as will be patiently waiting for a better opportunity to respond.

At the end of the day — through all my experience — I truly believe 99.9 percent of conflict between friends who do actually care about each other, boils down to one of two things: miscommunication or misunderstanding. And the devil can influence both. That’s why we, if we’re the one boiling over, need to step back and turn ourselves down a couple notches, before we inadvertently burn someone. And if we get burned by a friend, we need to step back, bring our hurt and the situation to God, who can best help heal, intervene, and cool things off.

Note: One resource I’m eager to read, and know is really helping a lot of people in the area of interpersonal conflict resolution, is Shelley Hendrix’s book Why Can’t We Just Get Along?

Coming Soon: I’ve told my story — and it’s made multiple appearances on the Westbow Press bestsellers list. Now, I want to help you tell your story! Join my mailing list, and I’ll send you exclusive information about a brand-new coaching program I’ll be launching this fall!

If you have ever considered telling your testimony through a book of your own — but didn’t know where to start or how to finish your manuscript — you won’t want to miss this exclusive opportunity to work with me directly! Whether you need help polishing a manuscript for consideration by a literary agent or publisher – or you’re exploring the idea of self-publishing (like I did) — I’d be honored if you’d me to help you reach that goal of getting your story out there!

If you’ve dreamed of being an author — getting paid to write — and you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, open your heart, and hear my honest feedback, I’d love to work with you towards making that dream a reality.