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Passive/Aggressive Behaviors Do Not Become Us ~ A New Post by @ShelleyHendrix

Let all that you do be done in love.

~1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)

I don't know about you, but I recognized recently that since the boom of social media, I've personally had to develop a thicker skin, while trying to maintain and cultivate an ever softening heart.

This is no easy task for a still-in-recovery-people-pleasing-performer. (Anyone else fit this description?)

Picture this scenario which I've heard from women all over the place:

"I went to wish a friend "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Anniversary" or "Thinking of You" (on Facebook, of course, since it only seems to matter these days if we say it there, right?). I didn't need the reminders to tell me it was her special day. But as I went to her timeline to post a greeting, I noticed...*gasp*...that we are no longer Facebook friends. 

What??"

Now, I've spoken with enough of you out there to know that if you've experienced this kind of thing, you are certainly not alone.

In fact, there's an interesting article on Women and Social Media that you can find here.

Maybe you've been through this and you begin to wonder:

"What did I do to her? Sure, time passes, but how long ago did she decide she didn't want to be connected to me anymore?"

"Good grief, if I offended her enough for this, why didn't she just tell me something's wrong?"

And then, maybe we console ourselves with this, "Get a grip. It's just Facebook!"

I've been through this kind of thing myself - in the online world and in real life. (In fact, it's why I wrote "Why Can't We Just Get Along?")

A year or so ago, I posted a link to an article that I thought was a helpful, encouraging article about finding our value in worth in Christ and who God has made us to be rather than finding it in our careers, social status, financial portfolio, or anywhere else. My motive was to encourage people that they are valuable because of who GOD says they are; not for any other reason. So many folks are trapped in the shame game of trying to prove themselves to no avail. Even still... 

Longish story, short: I got 'un-friended' over it.

Here's another example:

A while back I posted a 'tongue-in-cheek' post while going through a challenging season and trying to find at least a little bit of humor in life when everything in me was pulling me to only see the negative. I try to filter my status updates, pictures, etc through the lens of "how might this speak to someone out there to brighten his or her day" or "would this be something my family and close friends might appreciate seeing"? Granted, none of us hits the target every time, but like most of you reading this post, I do try. Every person who interacted with that post got what I was trying to say. All but one...

I got blasted via private message over this, "Shelley, you're in ministry, you should know better than to post something like this." She even claimed that someone in my "financial position" should do better. If she only knew my financial position... 

(Like a ministry friend said to me years ago, 'I'm in ministry; I make HUNDREDS of dollars a year!')

When I responded with as much graciousness as I could as I tried to read the post again through her filter, I didn't even get the chance to make it right (whether or not I actually needed to is not the point). I was 'unfriended' by a woman I spent years pouring my own life into through teaching and ministry.

Why do we as women operate in this kind of passive/aggressive kind of behavior when it is so unnecessary?

Why won't we just give one another the benefit of the doubt when we see something that doesn't seem just right to us?

Why are we, especially as Christians, so quick to just write someone off and disengage with them completely rather than talk through our differences?

Manners Matter

If you think you're alone in this, you're not. As I've experienced this kind of hurtful passive/aggressive behavior, I saw this post from Author and Speaker, Sheila Walsh, that sums up so much what I'm expressing here:

Yesterday I made a silly comment about sitting on a small plane beside a man who looked to be the size of a wooly mammoth. There was nothing in me that meant to be unkind, I was actually trying to be funny. I asked him how he coped with flights like this and he said he felt like a large dog squeezed into a small purse. If I offended some of you I am truly sorry but some of your comments blew me away. I had to stop reading all the negative comments as I was getting ready to speak at a prayer breakfast and I felt so grieved. Why do we do this? Why do we assume the worst of someone? Why does one unwise post outweigh 100 others? A friend who follows me and is not a believer was horrified by some of the things that my own brothers and sisters in Christ said. 
Will I try to be wiser-sure. Can we try to be kinder-please (posted January 6, 2015)

Ladies, as we go about our daily lives, and as we post, comment, like, follow, friend or any of the other ways we interact on social media, let's remember that those on the other side of the screen ARE people. Whether they're people in the public eye or not is really irrelevant: 

every life is one for whom Christ died; 

every one bears the image of the Most High God; 

and every one of these are precious in the sight of the God we claim to know and love. 

You and I can't control what others do in their social media lives, but we can decide to use our own for good and never for harm. Need to have a tough discussion over something controversial? Please consider going to that person in love and in real life rather than hashing it out online or cutting the friendship off completely.

I got this in a very kind comment recently on one of my posts and it's definitely worth passing along:

"I know what God thinks of you and I'm going to treat you that way." 

The quote she included in her kind comments was made by Brant Hanson Page. 

We are better than this and we can do better than this. 

Let ALL that you do be done in love. (The Greek for all here means "all" and that includes our online lives.)

"The Antidote for My Wounded, Angry Heart" By Jennifer White

Photo by Creative Common Image

I am a recovering people pleaser, so my list of enemies has been relatively short.  Even with all my efforts to be everyone’s favorite, there have been a few people I couldn’t please. 

The words of Mary DeMuth lanced my recently wounded and inflamed heart.  In Wall Around Your Heart:  How Jesus Heals You When Others Hurt You, Mary reminds us how Jesus dealt with His foes:    

“He offered grace to those who violated His laws.  He dignified outcasts.  He engaged Himself in the very world that put Him to death.  Jesus is our example of openhearted living; of exhibiting wild love that dared to wash the feet of Judas, who betrayed Him; of reinstating Peter, who denied Him thrice.  Jesus, in His divine irresistibility  welcomed all, loved all, endured all.”  All!  

I’ve been trying to swallow this bitter reality.  I have been Jesus’ enemy.  I have: 

-       Relented too many times to premarital sex

-       Chosen divorce

-       Lied about my sin to protect my reputation

-       Chewed relentlessly on the faults of my husband

-       Broadcasted the faults of a family member like a spewing hydrant 

Yet, he lets me wear this robe of His righteousness.  He calls me friend.  His mercy for my attitude, my irresponsibility, and broken promises to Him, others, and myself is new every morning! 

God is love.  He loves me with 1 Corinthians 13 love.  He is patient with me while I struggle to grasp the gospel.  He is kind to me even though I have dismissed His instructions.  He is not rude to me with snarls and reminders of my weaknesses.  He does not force His rules on me but gives me the freedom to choose to say yes.  He is not irritable with me because He’s exhausted from cleaning up my messes and yours, too. 

He prays for me.

He empowers me.

His power rests on my weakness.

While I was His enemy, He pursued me with a hope-filled love.  He held out His hand to me, smiled, and offered His help. 

In Luke chapter 6, Jesus gives us radical relationship instructions. 

²⁷ “Love your enemies.  Do good to those who hate you.  ²⁸ Bless those who curse you.  Pray for those who abuse you.”  ^35 “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  ³⁶ Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” 

There it is in verse 35:  “He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”  You and me, we are the ungrateful, evil ones, and He is merciful.  He is kind to us. 

The one who hurt me has seemed so ungrateful for my kindness and support.  I will be merciful.  I will be kind. 

I am choosing to see this enemy as God’s little girl, hurt and walled off emotionally.  When I do, she looks much like I once felt and still do at times. 

I am choosing to take my ugly thoughts about her into the obedience of Christ; the obedience of praying for her and blessing her.  (Luke 27-36) 

I have more peace.  

“The greatest challenge of my life is choosing to commune with God with everything I am, learning to receive His wild, but abundant love, then flinging it joyfully in people’s direction.”  

Mary DeMuth, “Wall Around Your Heart”

Jennifer White pursues God in prayer with the Bible as her guide.  She leads others to do the same at Prayerfully Speaking.  Being wife to David is her highest calling.  She recently completed her first book, Prayers for new Brides: Putting on the Armor After the Wedding Dress.  #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK with her that God is and does "more than we can ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20). #GodAnswers 

Click here for Calling Glory's "Teach Me To Love"

 

Showing Honor - By @Lori_Kennedy

Photo property of Shelley Hendrix

Showing Honor
By Lori Kennedy 

“Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
Exodus 20:12 (NIV) 

The Ten Commandments are listed in Exodus chapter 20.  The first four are between us and God, and the last six are between us and others.  Honoring your mother and father is commandment number five, and it’s the only commandment with a promise.  It promises us a long life in the land the Lord our God is giving us should we keep this commandment.  

I don’t know about you, but I have struggled in this area.  It’s hard to say whether my struggles have been a result of my own broken lens, from which I view and respond to the world through, or wrong responses that have been placed upon me by my parents and their broken views of themselves and the world.  I have not understood what “honor” might look like and have not been sure how to respond if I feel, for example, that an unrealistic expectation has been placed upon me.  I have always felt that, no matter what I do, it is not good enough for my mother and that, no matter how I respond or react, I will not make her happy.  So, how then, do I honor her?  Is she really placing expectations on me, or am I perceiving expectations that don’t really exist? 

One day I got into an argument with my son before school.  We got very angry with each other, and he left the house for school with us both still very angry with each other.  I took my anger to God, and God showed me a precious nugget of His truth that day.  First, He convicted me that my over-reaction to my son’s anger was a perceived rejection by him and why I lashed out so intensely.  My prayers then turned to conviction of the broken lens through which I view the world.  This lens says I’m not good enough and I’m not worthy.  God has told me in His Word that this is a lie.  In fact, He states over and over and over again that I’m just a slow learner. 

While I was aching over my sinful reaction to my child based on my unmet expectation of his response to me, I recognized the grief I was causing him and cried out to God that my flaws and sins not bleed through to my son.  I want my child to know that he is loved and that he has great value to the Kingdom and in this world – despite me.  I prayed that my stuff would not mess up my precious child.  In that moment in time, God revealed an amazing truth to me, and I understood the word “honor” in a new way, as it referred to my mother and the real or perceived expectations in which I felt I never met.  He showed me that the best way to honor my mother was to be true to the calling that God Himself has set before me and become the woman that He has called me to be!  I realized in that instant that, if my parents were healthy and whole (which no-one is completely), then that’s exactly what they would want for me.  In this moment of my failure, God showed me that, when we have true love and honor for others, our desire is for them to do the will of the Father, even when it might not seem best for us personally.   

That simple but profound lesson has taken me leaps and bounds further in both my relationship and learning how to truly honor my mother as well as understanding my own flaws in my communications with my children as I continue to be molded by the Potter walking through this journey we call life.

 

www.lorikennedy.com
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Anointed

Photo By Amelia Grace Photography

Anointed

By Lori Kennedy

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach 

good new to the poor.  He has sent me to bind 

up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”  Isaiah 61:1 (NIV)

Do you ever wonder if there is a calling or an anointing on your life?  You think, "Well, I don’t do anything special."  I’m just a parent to my child and/or a wife/husband to my spouse.  Maybe you get up each morning and head out to work and think there’s no purpose at your job past the paycheck you bring home to your family each week.

I looked up the word anoint, and according to the dictionary (yes, the online one), it means 'to dedicate to the service of God.'  If you are His child, then you are anointed, and that anointing applies to every step you take, every move you make, and every interaction that you have with others.  When you give your heart to Jesus, you give yourself to the service of God and you are set apart.  Now your identity has changed, and you have become a child of God.  

As you begin to grow in that new identity, a shift in perspective comes as well.  As you gain knowledge of His character, you can begin to see past yourself and even what stands right before you, and you can start to look at a more eternal picture of His plans.  He doesn’t waste anything, not any experience that you’ve had, not any person that He places in your path, not even any pain or trauma that you’ve been through.  He can use it all for good (see Jeremiah 29:11 and Genesis 50:20).  It simply becomes a matter of what “good” is to you.  Is good what you’re going through now, or could the term “good” possibly have an eternal significance with the spiritual eyes that you’ve now been given?

As I persevere in my spiritual journey, my knowledge of God’s character continues to increase.  One thing that He continues to show me is that relationship is one of the most important things that He’s called us to, relationship with Him, first and foremost, and then relationship with others.  

Matthew 22:37-39 says, “Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (NIV)

So with every single interaction you have with others – at work, in the grocery store, with your children or spouse – don’t forget that you are anointed!  Your story matters to others!  Your life matters to others!  You don’t have to have the right words to say.  Just let someone know they are important to you and share your life with them.  God will do the rest.  

Revelation 12:11a says, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” (NIV)  

The him in this passage means Satan.  When you also include the passage from John about the Samaritan woman’s experience at the well with Jesus that says, “Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him (meaning Jesus) because of the woman’s testimony.”  John 4:39a (NIV).  Can you see that God has called you to share your life with others?  That is your most important anointing.

God graciously allows me to speak into a precious life from time to time (oh, I am so not worthy), but when I ask, "God, what do I say?  I'm not wise enough to have this great responsibility," He places this thought silently and peacefully in my heart, "Lead my children back to me - That's all I desire!"   Don’t forget that as His child, you have been anointed .  The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on you, to preach the good news (by sharing what God has done and continues to do in your life), to bind up the broken hearted (by sharing what God has done and continues to do in your life), to proclaim freedom for the captives (by sharing what God has done and continues to do in your life), and to release the prisoners from darkness (by sharing what God has done and continues to do in your life).  Ultimately, the purpose of that anointing is to bring His children back to Him. 

Kari Jobe - We Are (Official Acoustic Performance) from kari-jobe on GodTube.

Completely Loved - by Melissa Haas @RestoreLifeUs

Photo by Melissa Haas

         Completely Loved  

                                    By

                          Melissa Haas

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, northings present, nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39 

I am completely loved and accepted by God. 

It had been a bad day. Back then, Troy and I were missionaries in Kenya, and we were getting ready to leave Nairobi to head back to the bush. I had done all of my shopping except my meats, and I intended to go by the butcher on the way out of town. Buying supplies was always a big deal because if we forgot anything we needed, we would have to do without until we made the twelve-hour drive back to town two months later. On this particular day, we were heading back to the bush on a Saturday, and I had under-estimated the time it would take us to pack the vehicle and get on the road. We were getting away later than I had promised—a big deal since it is dangerous to drive at night in Africa. Troy was irritated, and I was apologetic. We drove up to the butcher only to discover that they were closed. It was Saturday, and they only stayed open until noon.  

Troy was angry, I was in tears, and both of us were in a quandary about what to do. Did we stay an extra night in Nairobi—and have to unpack the truck and repack again the next day—or did we choose to go without beef or chicken for the next three months?  

We drove back to the mission office, and one of our fellow missionaries invited us to come in and have a cold drink. We were both obviously upset, and I felt like I had totally failed. Explaining the situation to Jack and lamenting about my mistake and the resulting consequences, he looked straight into my eyes and said, “Melissa, you are forgiven.” 

My breath caught in my throat, and it was if the Lord Himself had spoken those words into my heart. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and relief. Tears sprang to my eyes, and all I could do was whisper a quiet, “Thank you.” In that moment I felt completely loved and accepted in spite of my failures—not by my missionary colleague, but by my Lord. Jack embodied Christ to me that day. 

How about you?  Have you experienced God’s love in spite of your failures?    

One of the things God has told me over and over in my personal times with Him is that He loves me. Let me share some of my favorite love notes with you. 

Psalm 18:16-19 (NIV)            He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. 

Lamentations 3:19-23 (NIV)  I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet, this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 

Zephaniah 3:15-17 (NIV)      The Lord has taken away your punishment; He has turned back your enemy. The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm. On that day they will say to Jerusalem, “Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing.” 

I am always in awe when I read that He delights in me. He loves me. He finds pleasure in me.  His heart longs for me and rejoices when I come to Him. He accepts me completely and loves me unconditionally.

He loves you and me more than we can even imagine. A look at the cross only begins to explain the depths of His love.  

Are you resting in His love today?  Say it out loud, write in on sticky notes and post them everywhere, put it on your Facebook: I am completely loved and accepted by God.

Melissa Haas currently serves as the Director of Restoration Groups for HopeQuest, a ministry group in Woodstock, Georgia, which helps people struggling with life-dominating issues.  Melissa began her service in ministry in 1993 as an international missionary to Kenya, East Africa, where she and her husband Troy worked as church planters among the Turkana people.  When a significant marital crisis ended their missionary service, Melissa and Troy began a journey of healing and restoration that now serves as the foundation of their ministry to others.  Passionate about spiritual community, healthy marriages, and intimacy with God, Melissa regularly facilitates small groups and teaches and speaks on these topics in order to help the Body of Christ grow relationally with God and each other.  Melissa and Troy and their three children reside in Woodstock, Georgia.

Click here or on the picture below to see a music video for David Crowder's "How He Loves"

Dinner in an Oasis by Lucille Zimmerman @LucilleZ

Photo by Lucille Zimmerman

Dinner in an Oasis 

ByLucille Zimmerman 

Are there people you would love to meet? People you especially admire and look up to? People that would make you lightheaded and giddy, especially if you were to sit down and have dinner together? 

I can think of several living and dead. People like Rich Mullins, Tyler Perry, Greta Van Susteren.  

The other day I was reading about Jesus when He was on His way to Jerusalem. He was nearing the end of His three year ministry. He was hot, dusty, and weary. 

He knew death was awaiting Him when he arrived. 

Crowds were closing in so thickly He could hardly walk. Pharisees were testing Him. Sick and lame people were begging Him for healing. 

They were near a town called Jericho, only 23 miles from Jerusalem. It’s the oldest city and it’s an oasis. 

I’ve been to Jericho twice. All around is desert, but Jericho sits among streams, waterfalls, and palm trees. It’s a lush, green respite in a desolate area.

Can you picture it? 

It was in this town that something remarkable happened. A short little thug named Zacchaeus ran ahead of the crowd and scrambled up a tree so that he could get a glimpse of Jesus.

You might be tempted to think of him as a “wee little man in a Sycamore tree,” but he was the worst of the worst. You see Rome exacted a tax from the Jews, and the Jewish countrymen who agreed to bilk money from their own people for Rome, also padded their own pockets. He was a thug! 

Zacchaeus must have been especially hated because he was the CHIEF tax collector. Think of someone like a drug lord, a pimp, or crime boss.

There are so many stunning things that happened there. As soon as Jesus arrived in the cool, wet oasis:

•     Jesus pointed up to the criminal in the tree and hollered, “Hey Zacchaeus, dinner’s at your house tonight!

•     Zaccheaus had heard so much about Jesus he stopped everything to get a gander. Apparently these stories about Jesus were more tantalizing to him than wealth.

•     Zaccheaus rushed home to get dinner ready. In his house, we read that he stood up and announced he would give half of his possessions to the poor and he would pay anything he had extorted from the people “four times over.” (Luke 19:8) In essence, by quoting the Torah (Exodus 22:1), he was saying, “Dude, I’m such a thief!” 

But that’s what Jesus does when you encounter Him. He makes you want to bow low, confess your junk, and be best friends. 

Want to hear something really cool? That winsome Jesus wants to have dinner at your house too! 

And there is nothing you have to do? You might not be as bad as Zacchaeus, but you’re no saint. 

The cool thing is you don’t have to be. 

It would be like Tyler, Rich, or Greta calling me up and saying, “Hey Lucille, we’re coming over.”

You don’t have to clean yourself or the house up. 

Just enjoy the company.

Lucille Zimmerman is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Littleton, CO and an affiliate faculty professor at Colorado Christian University.

She is also the author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World. Through practical ideas and relatable anecdotes, readers can better understand their strengths and their passions—and address some of the underlying struggles or hurts that make them want to keep busy or minister to others to the detriment of themselves. Renewed can help nurture those areas of women’s lives to use them better for work, family, and service. It gives readers permission to examine where they spend their energy and time, and learn to set limits and listen to “that inner voice."

Gorging on Chocolate Love - A Guest Post by @RobEagar



Photo by rob Eagar

Gorging on Chocolate Love 

By
Rob Eagar 

 

Have you ever gone a long time without eating and felt your stomach groan with hunger?  In those situations, what was your body telling you?  Obviously, it was crying out for some nutritious food.  Yet, how often have you consumed chocolate candy out of desperation or convenience, just to get rid of those hunger pangs?  I’ve done it several times. 

What happens?  Initially, feeding your empty stomach with chocolate feels great.  The ache goes away, your hunger disappears, and all of the sugar and caffeine hitting your system gives you the sensation of feeling “high.”  Buzzing with bliss, you wonder why you don’t eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

About thirty minutes later, however, everything changes.  A sharper pain than the one before grips your stomach, and your head becomes dizzy.  All of your pleasant feelings degenerate into discomfort worse than your original hunger.

What caused this pain to result? Was there something wrong with the chocolate? No. Chocolate candy is safe to eat, but it doesn’t contain the nutrients necessary for your body to survive. Therefore, when you are hungry, chocolate alone cannot help you. Instead, it makes you feel worse. For your body to thrive, it must receive a steady diet of nutritious food. Then you can enjoy chocolate as a fun dessert. However, you will get sick if you try to live solely on chocolate.

Unfortunately, many singles enter dating relationships by trying to “eat chocolate on an empty stomach.”  They approach one another with hungry hearts, hoping that the other person will feed them.  This condition can be especially acute when a man or woman feels lonely, rejected, or starved for acceptance.  Without love, people become desperate for something to fill the void inside their hearts.  A romance, with its potentially sweet taste and emotional highs, seems the likely solution to their hunger.

Looking for love in all the wrong places
As a single adult, I was hungry for love and searched repeatedly to find a woman to fulfill me. Every new romance that I entered felt like a chocolate sugar high, with soaring emotions, exhilarating self-esteem boosts, and a sweet sense of security.  In the headiness of romantic rapture, my heart thought that a woman could fulfill me forever.  Nevertheless, the euphoria inevitably collapsed.  Sometimes, it took weeks.  At other times, it took months.  My wife’s happiness vanished after a year of dating and seven months of marriage.

Regardless of how wonderful a new dating relationship feels, the romantic bliss will eventually wear off.  Human affection may taste good, but like chocolate, it cannot give our hearts what they need for survival.  The true hunger of our hearts is to be accepted unconditionally.  We need more than just attention, friendship, or sex.  We long for someone to love us despite our faults, mistakes, and imperfections.  Our hearts remain hollow when no one completely accepts us.

Unconditional love
Humans, however, cannot give each other unconditional love. We get upset or impatient when someone fails to make us happy.  Furthermore, we base our love for someone on how well they perform.  The root of this problem is sin, which causes constant mistakes, conflicts, and disappointments.  No one is accepting, patient, and forgiving all of the time. Therefore, human love is like chocolate, because the pleasure doesn’t last.  None of us has the ability to accept people unconditionally.  The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance, and this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.

I don’t mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based.  It always has been and always will be.  You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.

This truth also applies in marriage.  Someone once asked a pastor, “What is your wife’s opinion of you?”  He replied, “It depends on what day you ask her.  Some days, she loves me. Other days, I drive her crazy, and she wonders why she married me.  My wife and I wish we could love each other perfectly, but it is impossible since we both sin and make choices that hurt each other.  God is the only Person who loves us regardless of how we act.”

Is marriage the answer?
Consider those around you.  How many of your married friends warn you that marriage is tougher than you think?  Yet, how many of your single friends complain of feeling incomplete without a spouse?

All too often, we neglect what our hearts really need and attempt to satisfy ourselves with a cheap substitute called romance.  In essence, we try to live on an unhealthy diet of chocolate, but our hearts cannot survive under the demands of performance-based love.  We inevitably burn out, wear out, or drop out, from trying to please others.

In my case, I had to reach total exasperation before I grasped that dating and marriage would never fulfill me. I appeared successful to many people, because I’d had several girlfriends and reached my goal of marriage.  Those romances, however, never fulfilled me. Either I required too much of a woman, or she expected too much of me.  We were sincere in our desire for lasting love, but we couldn’t make it happen.

Real love is out there
You don’t need a new set of dating principles or techniques.  A perfect love waits to delight you.  This love, however, cannot soothe the ache within your heart until you stop chasing after romantic passion or passionate sex.  Those shallow quests lead to emptiness.  The hunger in your heart is for real passion.

Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life.  No one who comes to me will ever be hungry again.” (John 6:35 NLT) 

Passion awaits you

Stop settling for less than what your heart truly desires.  A higher love waits to take you beyond the jaded, cynical disappointments that result from most dating relationships.  No longer does your heart have to survive on the cheap chocolate of empty romance.  You were made to experience more than just manipulation, performance, or selfish indulgence.  You were created by God to share in the ecstasy of real love, not just when you get to heaven but in life on earth as well.  Before you can truly love another person, however, you must first understand how much you are already loved.  So open your heart, and prepare for the passion that awaits you.


More from and about Rob Eagar can be found here and on his professional site at www.startawildfire.com.

Rob's Book, Dating with Pure Passion

 

"Dating with Pure Passion," Available on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Dating-Pure-Passion-Courtship-Formula/dp/0736916709/

CHRIS TOMLIN ENOUGH from blaze25z on GodTube.