Gorging on Chocolate Love - A Guest Post by @RobEagar



Photo by rob Eagar

Gorging on Chocolate Love 

By
Rob Eagar 

 

Have you ever gone a long time without eating and felt your stomach groan with hunger?  In those situations, what was your body telling you?  Obviously, it was crying out for some nutritious food.  Yet, how often have you consumed chocolate candy out of desperation or convenience, just to get rid of those hunger pangs?  I’ve done it several times. 

What happens?  Initially, feeding your empty stomach with chocolate feels great.  The ache goes away, your hunger disappears, and all of the sugar and caffeine hitting your system gives you the sensation of feeling “high.”  Buzzing with bliss, you wonder why you don’t eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

About thirty minutes later, however, everything changes.  A sharper pain than the one before grips your stomach, and your head becomes dizzy.  All of your pleasant feelings degenerate into discomfort worse than your original hunger.

What caused this pain to result? Was there something wrong with the chocolate? No. Chocolate candy is safe to eat, but it doesn’t contain the nutrients necessary for your body to survive. Therefore, when you are hungry, chocolate alone cannot help you. Instead, it makes you feel worse. For your body to thrive, it must receive a steady diet of nutritious food. Then you can enjoy chocolate as a fun dessert. However, you will get sick if you try to live solely on chocolate.

Unfortunately, many singles enter dating relationships by trying to “eat chocolate on an empty stomach.”  They approach one another with hungry hearts, hoping that the other person will feed them.  This condition can be especially acute when a man or woman feels lonely, rejected, or starved for acceptance.  Without love, people become desperate for something to fill the void inside their hearts.  A romance, with its potentially sweet taste and emotional highs, seems the likely solution to their hunger.

Looking for love in all the wrong places
As a single adult, I was hungry for love and searched repeatedly to find a woman to fulfill me. Every new romance that I entered felt like a chocolate sugar high, with soaring emotions, exhilarating self-esteem boosts, and a sweet sense of security.  In the headiness of romantic rapture, my heart thought that a woman could fulfill me forever.  Nevertheless, the euphoria inevitably collapsed.  Sometimes, it took weeks.  At other times, it took months.  My wife’s happiness vanished after a year of dating and seven months of marriage.

Regardless of how wonderful a new dating relationship feels, the romantic bliss will eventually wear off.  Human affection may taste good, but like chocolate, it cannot give our hearts what they need for survival.  The true hunger of our hearts is to be accepted unconditionally.  We need more than just attention, friendship, or sex.  We long for someone to love us despite our faults, mistakes, and imperfections.  Our hearts remain hollow when no one completely accepts us.

Unconditional love
Humans, however, cannot give each other unconditional love. We get upset or impatient when someone fails to make us happy.  Furthermore, we base our love for someone on how well they perform.  The root of this problem is sin, which causes constant mistakes, conflicts, and disappointments.  No one is accepting, patient, and forgiving all of the time. Therefore, human love is like chocolate, because the pleasure doesn’t last.  None of us has the ability to accept people unconditionally.  The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance, and this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.

I don’t mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based.  It always has been and always will be.  You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.

This truth also applies in marriage.  Someone once asked a pastor, “What is your wife’s opinion of you?”  He replied, “It depends on what day you ask her.  Some days, she loves me. Other days, I drive her crazy, and she wonders why she married me.  My wife and I wish we could love each other perfectly, but it is impossible since we both sin and make choices that hurt each other.  God is the only Person who loves us regardless of how we act.”

Is marriage the answer?
Consider those around you.  How many of your married friends warn you that marriage is tougher than you think?  Yet, how many of your single friends complain of feeling incomplete without a spouse?

All too often, we neglect what our hearts really need and attempt to satisfy ourselves with a cheap substitute called romance.  In essence, we try to live on an unhealthy diet of chocolate, but our hearts cannot survive under the demands of performance-based love.  We inevitably burn out, wear out, or drop out, from trying to please others.

In my case, I had to reach total exasperation before I grasped that dating and marriage would never fulfill me. I appeared successful to many people, because I’d had several girlfriends and reached my goal of marriage.  Those romances, however, never fulfilled me. Either I required too much of a woman, or she expected too much of me.  We were sincere in our desire for lasting love, but we couldn’t make it happen.

Real love is out there
You don’t need a new set of dating principles or techniques.  A perfect love waits to delight you.  This love, however, cannot soothe the ache within your heart until you stop chasing after romantic passion or passionate sex.  Those shallow quests lead to emptiness.  The hunger in your heart is for real passion.

Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life.  No one who comes to me will ever be hungry again.” (John 6:35 NLT) 

Passion awaits you

Stop settling for less than what your heart truly desires.  A higher love waits to take you beyond the jaded, cynical disappointments that result from most dating relationships.  No longer does your heart have to survive on the cheap chocolate of empty romance.  You were made to experience more than just manipulation, performance, or selfish indulgence.  You were created by God to share in the ecstasy of real love, not just when you get to heaven but in life on earth as well.  Before you can truly love another person, however, you must first understand how much you are already loved.  So open your heart, and prepare for the passion that awaits you.


More from and about Rob Eagar can be found here and on his professional site at www.startawildfire.com.

Rob's Book, Dating with Pure Passion

 

"Dating with Pure Passion," Available on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Dating-Pure-Passion-Courtship-Formula/dp/0736916709/

CHRIS TOMLIN ENOUGH from blaze25z on GodTube.

Don't Fight Temptation. Just Give Up - "A Guest Post by @RobEagar"

Don't Fight Temptation - Just Give Up 

ByRob Eagar

Chuck fought the desire to lash out at his girlfriend, Leah. While shopping at the mall, they had bumped into her ex-boyfriend, Dan. A quick “hello” turned into a conversation that Leah seemed to enjoy. Chuck was a Christian and knew that he should be considerate. Nevertheless, the more he listened to Leah laugh with Dan, the more a jealous anger brewed within him.

The interaction made Chuck worry. “I thought that Leah liked me, but maybe she wants to date Dan again,” he said to himself. His fear and jealousy suddenly reached the boiling point. He grabbed Leah’s arm and announced, “Time’s up, Leah. Let’s go!” He pulled her away from Dan in a show of force, but it backfired.

“Let go of me, Chuck! How could you be so rude?” she exclaimed.

“We need to get going,” Chuck urged.

“Well, if you are in such a hurry, then leave,” Leah replied. “I’ll have Dan drive me home!”

Chuck couldn’t believe his stupid outburst. He wished he could crawl into a hole and disappear.

You would think that if Christian singles wanted to share God’s love together, then all of their relationships would be godly and loving. Yet, we all know that reality can be quite a different experience. Just because someone is a Christian doesn’t mean he or she acts wisely or exhibits perfect self-control.

For example, have you ever gone on a diet? What normally happens? Usually you discipline yourself to exercise and eat right. Over time, you achieve some success, but when you quit your diet, your body gains back some pounds. So, you dedicate yourself to losing weight again, falling into a frustrating cycle. Worse, no matter how hard you try to enhance your shape, your body remains in a constant state of decay, which means you cannot prevent the inevitable sags, wrinkles, and death.

Battling against fleshly urges of indwelling sin with your willpower is similar to dieting. You can try to defy temptation through self-effort, biblical principles, or accountability groups, but sin will never stop enticing you until you die. Your self-discipline may yield some temporary success, but eventually, stress, boredom, or fatigue will wear you down. The moment your self-effort gets weak, sin will pounce on you (1 Peter 5:8). God offers a better way to resist sin:

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age.” (Titus 2:11–12).

These verses explain that the grace of God instructs you to live in a godly manner. It does not say that righteous behavior occurs through self-discipline, memorizing Scripture, or following principles. You cannot muster enough self-control to stop Satan. Instead, Paul writes that the goal of the Christian life is to “glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3). He also says, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not” (Romans 7:18). How do you give up your pride and allow God’s grace to deliver you from temptation?

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20) 

This verse reveals one of the best blessings of being a Christian! Instead of fighting sin with all your might, allow Christ to do the fighting for you. He wants you to stop struggling, rest by faith in His love, and let Him take over.

As an example, let’s revisit Chuck’s dilemma at the beginning of this chapter. Remember how he got upset with his girlfriend, Leah, for talking to Dan? If Chuck had allowed Christ to live through him, he might have responded to his angry feelings by thinking, “Why am I feeling this way? I am holy, so obviously these angry and jealous thoughts are sin’s attempt to control me. However, Jesus freed me from sin’s power. Lord, please take over and live Your patience through me toward Leah right now.” Then, if Chuck had continued to trust in Christ, he could have remained calm while Leah talked to Dan.

No matter how you are tempted, sin can never offer anything superior to the unconditional love and acceptance that you already have in Christ. Therefore, by comparison alone, temptation is worthless. Sin can be very subtle, however, so Jesus advises you to let go of your discipline and appropriate His strength in dealing with fleshly enticements. He wants to help you discern the lies that sin presents and remind you of His passionate love.

Jesus conquered sin forever when He died on the cross. Furthermore, His resurrection enabled Him to live His victory through your life. Yet, Christ cannot disarm temptation until you stop trying to fight it by yourself.

Rob Eagar
WildFire Marketing
Phone: 1-800-267-2045
Web: www.StartaWildfire.com
Twitter: @RobEagar
Email: Rob@StartaWildFire.com
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Rob Eagar  Rob@startawildfire.com

For more information on this topic, check out Chapter 6 – The Impact of Sin on Your Dating Life in Rob’s book, Dating with Pure Passion. Need a copy? Click here.

Link to Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Dating-Pure-Passion-Courtship-Formula/dp/0736916709/