Psalm 46:1, 10 NASB
"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble...
Cease striving and know that I am God;"
The above verse is usually translated as "Be Still...." I like the NASB better, though being still is good, yet when I hear "cease striving" I can so identify with that feeling of stress, anxiety, trying to control or manipulate things to work out in a certain way. Don't stop listening at this point though, because we may walk away feeling shamed, or condemned as if we have somehow failed God and He is disappointed. I hear it now as my Father reminding me that he's got this. He loves us and knows we struggle with feeling afraid, uncertain, and that we need to let go of the grasping to control as it only wears us out emotionally, physically and spiritually. Dear friend, it's a journey in growing in our love relationship with Christ that helps us to cease striving.
I have been through such a journey many times and I struggle just like you do, and then I remember by encouraging myself with how He's come through in the past,how He loves me, and how he has worked in scripture. When I am the most anxious is when I have all the plates spinning in the air trying to force something to work or stay afloat. It's me trying to protect me by attempts at control because I fear that something bad will happen, not sure what but it goes back to my belief that I am the only one who can manage this. So I'm challenging you to begin to loosen your grip around those areas that you are desperately trying to micromanage out of fear, trust Him, and get to know His heart for you because He hears you and knows what you have need of.