Bambi and other things that go bump in the night ~ A Guest Post by Jan Dunlap

Perfect love drives out fear …1 John 4:18

Of all the passages from Scripture that I have learned over the years, this piece is perhaps the most troubling for me. It makes me feel inadequate, that somehow I’ve failed in my faith.

The reason for that feeling is the fact that I have an anxiety disorder, and despite all my praying and faith in God, I still experience fear.

Irrational, unreasonable, ridiculous, unexplained, sometimes fleeting, sometimes enduring, fear. If it weren’t so inconvenient (occasionally even paralyzing), it might even be funny.  For example, I won’t drive at night because a deer might dash in front of my car causing me to die in the resulting accident. And while anything is possible, really, what are the odds of that?

Wait a minute. That may not be the best example. I live in Minnesota, after all, and I’ve already had one headlight taken out by an errant Bambi on a dusky road. Odds are slight it will happen again.

The fear that it MIGHT happen again, AND kill me in the process, though, still weighs heavily in favor of my not taking a moonlit drive. Ever.

So, yes, I fear, which according to our letter-writer John, means I am not perfect in love. And that makes me feel guilty.

Double fail. What’s a girl to do?

Here’s my take and I hope it helps you as it has helped me over many a rough wrestle with the Bible: memorizing pieces of Scripture is great for trivia contests, but if you want to really understand what Scripture says, you need to read the whole chapter, if not the whole book.

You don’t read a couple of lines out of the middle of a paragraph in a novel, and decide you’ve got it figured out, do you? Of course not! In the same way, we all need to move beyond the one-liners in Scripture and get the whole story, which in the case of 1 John 4 is about how we know that God loves us. It’s about our relationship with God, NOT about our relationship with jay-walking Bambis, or any other thing that frightens us here on earth. In fact, John’s letter assures us that we don’t have to fear God, because He loves us …perfectly… fears and all. With that bit of information tucked away in our hearts, we know we have nothing to fear from God, and that, in reality, He loves us right through our fears. God is FOR us always…even, and perhaps especially, when we fear.

Now that’s some Good News, wouldn’t you say?

Jan Dunlap has 33 years of experience raising her five children. She is the author of the humorous memoir Saved by Gracie, and the laugh-out-loud Birder Murder Mystery series. Jan lives in Minnesota, where she delights in finding God and laughter in the everyday moments of life to share with her readers and audiences. She welcomes visitors to her website at jandunlap.com, her Facebook page at Birder Murder Mama or @BirderMurder on Twitter. 

"Are you a ruminator?" A Guest Post by Jan Dunlap

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3: 5

I’m not a tattoo kind of girl, but if I were, this is the phrase I need written across the palm of my hand.  Maybe that way I’d see it all the time and remember that no amount of thinking can change anything, because it’s my over-thinking that tends to get between me and God. Seriously, I could save myself a lot of worry, stress, and heartache if I just stopped thinking about bad things that have already happened and instead just trust God to lead me forward.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

If it does, it’s probably because women are especially prone to over-thinking, or, as it’s been properly termed in psychology, “rumination.”  When I first learned of that term while doing research for my memoir, I thought of a cow chewing cud, and sure enough, it’s the same word and same concept – rechewing something over and over, even after you think you’re done with it.  That may be the correct way for a cow to digest, but for women, it’s a terrible way to digest – or process – an experience.  Instead of moving forward, rumination keeps us trapped in focusing on why a bad thing happened, instead of looking for solutions to avoid it next time around.

 

It’s a hard habit for women to kick, because women also tend to judge themselves more harshly than others.  I know I was raised to be independent and self-reliant.  Those are American virtues, after all!  As a result, I often think I’m in control, relying on my own “understanding” of a situation, but as the author of Proverbs points out, that’s a mistake I won’t make when I trust in the Lord with all my heart.  Note that the Scripture doesn’t tell us to trust in the Lord with all our mind; I’ve been down that road, too, trying to find God through study and intellect, and while I knew a lot about God, I never felt like I really knew God as an intimate friend.

That’s when I realized that all the book learning in the world does not substitute for a real relationship.  Trust is about becoming vulnerable to another being, about interacting on a personal basis.  It requires paying attention to the now moment, since the present is where we experience God’s presence.

That means that, if we’re deep into rumination, obsessively focused on thinking our way through the past or trying to mentally control our future, we’re missing out on God’s powerful presence right here and now.  Yes, God has given women wonderful brains to use – and we should! – but we need to temper our head-strong impulses with a deep heartfelt trust that God is always for us.  When we trust in the Lord with all our heart, we don’t need to ruminate, because our past, present, and future, are safe in His care. 

“He has promised, and He will do it.” Hebrews 10:23

Besides, chewing cud is so unattractive, don’t you agree?

Jan Dunlap is the author of the humorous memoir Saved by Gracie:  How a rough-and-tumble rescue dog dragged me back to health, happiness, and God, and the laugh-out-loud Birder Murder Mystery series.  The mother of five grown children, Jan delights in finding God and laughter in the everyday moments of life to share with her readers and audiences.  



Jan welcomes visitors to her website at jandunlap.com and her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Birder-Murder-Mama/126389054114777?ref=hl or @BirderMurder on Twitter.