6 Types of #Friends Every Woman Should Have ~ by @ValorieBurton #AWAKEN1Day

Valorie Burton will be our guest and one of our keynote speakers at the 7th Annual AWAKEN 1-Day Conference on November 8 and we would LOVE for you to be there!

Enjoy this helpful (re-)post from Valorie, pass it along to friends, and make sure to register before the deadline on October 31!  www.Church4Chicks.ticketbud.com

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Property of C4C 

6 Types of Friends Every Woman Should Have 

By

Valorie Burton

Do you rely on just one good friend? What would it take to nurture a few more close friendships? Why do you think some women are competitive with other women, but not the men? What can you do to put other women at ease and facilitate more authentic connections with women in your circle of influence?  

I want to share a special conversation starter with you from my latest book Happy Women Live Better: 13 Ways to Trigger Your Happiness Every Day. See the six specific types of friends every woman should have and spark up a conversation with your closest girlfriends this week to discuss what type of friend you may be.  

Points to Ponder

·         Studies show that it is a good idea to have several types of friends rather than relying on one or two to meet all of your needs.

·         Statistically speaking, your relationship with your girlfriends will likely outlast your marriage, your parents and your co-workers.  

• One study showed that when fewer than 15% of the women in a firm were in positions of power, the women were competitive and backstabbing with each other. But when women represented more than 15% of the powerful positions, women were collaborative. 

Do you have the right mix of friends?

Not every friend can meet every need. Some will meet more than one need, but few can do it all! Here are six types of friends every woman needs:

The Wise Friend.

You can count on them to talk you out of doing something you'd regret, help you solve your latest dilemma, and give all-around sound advice about just about anything.

The Fun Friend.

Want to have a good time, be adventurous, or laugh 'til your stomach hurts? You can always count on this one.

The Travel Buddy.

Drama-free, this friend is adaptable, maybe even adventurous, and loves to see the world.

The Relationship Coach.

Transparent, real and willing to listen, this friend has figured a few things out in the love department and genuinely wants to see you happy when it comes to romance.

The Career Comrade.

You share a similar background and goals in your work life, and encourage each other to higher professional success.

The Accountability Partner.

To maximize your potential, this is your go-to pal to help keep you on track.

Now, let's turn the tables. Think of your four closest friends. Which type of friend are you to each of them?

This post is an excerpt from my latest book, Happy Women Live Better: 13 Ways to Trigger Your Happiness Every Day. Discover your happiness triggers for FREE at www.happywomantest.com and order your copy of Happy Women Live Better at: www.bn.com/happywomenlivebetter

How to be Your Own (Single) Person ~ A guest post by @DevotionalDiva

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

How to be Your Own (Single) Person 

ByRenee Fisher 

Do you know how to be your own (single) person?  

Sometimes the hardest person to get along with is you. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of people we just can’t get along with (ask Shelley, she wrote a book on it)! But when it comes to being comfortable in our own skin, it can be tough.

Maybe you’re afraid of being alone. 
+ Desperate Singles
+ Breaking Up With “The One”
+ Why Changing Your Significant Other Won’t Work
+ The Right Way To Breakup
+ How To Handle A Breakup
+ How To Be Your Own (Single) Person
+ Why Breakups Are Hard
+ He (Jesus) Loves You! 

Maybe I’m more co-dependent than I want to admit.  

I wrote in my new book, Loves Me Not,  

“Instead of letting my bitterness [over a breakup] get me down, my confusion led me deep into the heart of Texas.  

I decided it was time for me to be my own person. 

I moved to Texas and joined a nine-month-long Discipleship Training School called Ambassadors For Christ and said goodbye to my friends and family. I couldn’t wait to learn more about writing and the Word. I had so many more questions than answers. I thought I had heard God right about [my ex]. I thought that He said he was “the one” for me. 

I was wrong again. 

How could I be so stupid? 

I hadn’t yet learned it’s actually possible to hear what you only want to hear. It’s easy to mistake God’s voice for my own because all I could hear was the sound of my heartbreak. I understood God’s comfort, but I had yet to understand His ways.” 

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe it’s been years since you’ve been single, or maybe the pain from a previous breakup still threatens to bring tears to your eyes.  

An important lesson we need to learn along the road to adulthood is how to listen to God’s voice instead of our own.  

Who does God say that I am?  

I guarantee you--after you hear how much God really loves you and has a plan for your life-then no one else’s words, plans, or ideas will matter. Plus, it’s easier to be the version God wants you to be versus the other copies-because they’re all carbon, or fake.  

When I was in my early 20’s I had all these grand ideas of what I wanted to do with my life, and who I wanted to become.  

I never thought in a million years that serving God on the mission’s field wasn’t where God wanted me.  

Have you ever felt like a failure at serving God?  

Maybe you thought you heard the voice of God (like I did) only to find out it wasn’t where He wanted you. 

Be encouraged my friends!  

God never wastes a step on the journey towards becoming His child. Since we are made in the image of God, there’s nothing we can do to surprise Him-even when we think we’re perfect (he’s not surprised to find out that we’re not). 

I recently wrote a book entitled Loves Me Not, and I’d love for you to read it! 

I wanted to focus solely on heartbreak and how to find healing God’s way. If you or anyone you know is currently experiencing a broken relationship or a breakup--I encourage you to pick up the eBook for only $2.99. 

Here are a few benefits you will gain from reading this book: 

+ Why Guarding Your Heart Isn’t Enough

+ Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?

Relationships are very important to me.  

God had me wait over twelve years to meet my husband. It’s probably because God knew how long it would take to become the person He wanted me to be-instead of the person I thought I wanted to be. I can’t wait for you to read it and be encouraged.

Renee Fisher, the Devotional Diva®, is the spirited speaker and author of Faithbook of Jesus, Not Another Dating Book, Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, and Loves Me Not. A graduate of Biola University, Renee’s mission in life is to “spur others forward” (Hebrews 10:24) using the lessons learned from her own trials to encourage others in their walk with God. She and her husband, Marc, live in California with their dog, Star. Learn more about Renee at www.devotionaldiva.com.

YOU ARE GOD’S STAR – SO #SHINE ON!

by 

Cherisse Stephens

Have you ever sat outside and looked up into the heavens on a clear dark night?  Aren’t you amazed by the stars that shine so brightly even through the darkness?  God’s creations of the heavens are so beautiful, that it leaves me in awe of him and all of his glory.  Just as God created the stars to shine in the heavens, he has created you to SHINE in the earth!  You are God’s Star!

I love the scripture that tells us that we are the light of the world, a city that cannot be hidden.  No matter what comes our way, God has given us the ability to shine through it all.  You have been given the power to light up this world with God’s glory.  How awesome is that?  Once we take on the image of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we are empowered to let our light shine, so that men will be drawn to him.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of Esther.  Her story is so inspiring because Esther learned how to shine despite the odds that were against her.  In the 2^nd chapter of the book of Esther, the king Ahasuerus decided to select a new queen as his wife.  All the virgins of the land were gathered together and began their preparation process before going before the king.  Esther who was an orphaned girl being raised by her relative Mordecai, was selected.  In most people’s opinions, she was not suited to become the bride of a king. I am sure that someone reading this passage has been denied something in their lifetime.  How many people have counted you or someone you know out, because in their minds, you don’t have what it takes to fulfill the assignment or walk in the role that’s presented to you?

The scripture in Jeremiah 29:11 says the following; “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you and expected end.”

God had a plan for Esther’s life and he has a plan for your life as well.  You may feel that your light is kind of dim right now.  Life has thrown you some blows that has literally left you feeling like there is no way to reignite the light and fire that’s on the inside of you.  I think of you as the diamond in the ruff.  A diamond in the rough comes out of the dirt in which it was buried and doesn’t seem to have much value and worth.  But once it is discovered that the rock is a diamond, the process of polishing begins.

Polishing is the process that Esther had to go through as well.  You see, she was not in any condition to go before the king in the state she was in.  She needed to be processed and polished before she would walk into her divine assignment.  She was a diamond in the ruff, waiting to shine! 

One of my favorite sayings is this, “Don’t judge who I am by where I am right now.”  Just because I don’t have it all together right now, doesn’t disqualify me from the plans of God.  We are a work in progress.  God is building character in us daily.  I am certain that those around Esther sized her up and tried to discourage her from going before the king.  Even in our Christian walk, there will be those who will try to snuff out your light and keep you from walking in your divine purpose.  But you have to be determined to shine, no matter what! 

Esther had the favor of God on her life.  Although she was surrounded by beautiful, wealthy women who came from royalty, she knew that God’s Glory was shining upon her and would bring her favor with the king.  That is so powerful!  We can use that same principal today.  We must live knowing that God’s Glory is shining so brightly upon us and because of it; we can walk into our kingdom assignment with authority.

The scripture says in Esther 2:17  “And the king loved Esther above all women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti.”

Wow, look at the favor of God that was on Esther’s life.  She was now the Queen to King Ahasuerus.  Her life had taken a turn that left many in disbelief.  I believe that God wants to shift your life and bring that kind of favor to YOU!  Esther was now shining brightly!  Through all of her scars, disappointments, rejection and hurt, she was chosen to shine brighter than those around her.

God has selected you to shine through it all!  You are his special STAR! You have been given the gift Shine for him!  So embrace your journey and hold your head up high!  Tell yourself, I am God’s Star and I must…SHINE ON!

                                                                                

About The Author

Cherisse Stephens is an Author, Evangelist, Television Host, Recording Artist, and Producer.  She is the founder and CEO of the “God’s Cover-Girls Women’s Conference” and the “Spring Forth Into Destiny Family Conference.”  She is the author of the book series entitled “How to Be God’s Cover-Girl” for adults, teens and tweens.  To find out more about Cherisse Stephens, visit her website at www.godscovergirls.com and www.cherissestephens.com

I caught the shine from my POW Dad #Shine

Candie and Shelley

Happy New Year!

I am thrilled to introduce you to my friend, Candie Blankman. I met Candie through our mutual friend, Ken Davis, who just happens to also be Candie's brother. Candie was my small group leader/coach at the SCORRE Conference in Vail, CO this past October. I knew right away that I liked her! You'll be touched, inspired, challenged, and moved by this tender post. And I know you'll want to read the whole story for yourself, so we've teamed up to include a giveaway of Candie's new book to a few fortunate readers! Yay!!  (Details below.)

I Caught the Shine from my POW Dad

      We were poor. We lived 50 miles from nowhere. I was small and a late developer. I had big teeth and board straight hair. I wasn’t much to look at. I was the fourth of five children. It would be another 13 years before the fifth one arrived so I was, for all practical purposes, the runt of the litter.  I think my mom was pretty tired by the time I came around.  We moved when I was 11. It was a small town really—population 8,000—but for me it was a big city. We went from dirt poor to marginally lower middle class somehow. And somehow, in spite of all the circumstantial barriers, I learned to shine.  How did this happen? I caught the shine.

Find this book on Amazon now

My father was a survivor. He enlisted in the Army when he was nineteen years old and deployed to the Philippine Islands. Fifteen months later Pearl Harbor was bombed and the United States was plunged into WWII. In the Japanese effort to have hegemony over the Pacific they launched a full scale assault on the Philippine Islands.

On April 9, 1942, when my father was just sixteen days past his 21^st birthday, he became a prisoner of war.  For the next three and a half years, every moment of every day, my father along with thousands of others fought for their lives. They endured deprivation and brutality beyond description. My father survived the Bataan Death March, two death camps, a prison death ward, a death ship (called Hell Ships), and a death mine.  My father survived all of this. But he more than survived. He thrived. My father was a person of faith whose light shown wherever he went. He lit up faces, he lit up rooms, he lit up lives.

My father, who suffered so much taught me what it means to let your light shine. He was not an educated man but he was an intelligent man and a jack-of-all-trades handyman. He could fix anything. And he used his ability to fix anything, not to make money, but to help others. Family, friends, neighbors, strangers could call on him and he would arrive with a smile on his face and go to work. The light shown through his helpful hands, but my father also used every opportunity to share the good news of God’s love with everyone. A simple verse of scripture, a short prayer, a word of testimony from his own life, somehow, dad would find a way to shine the light.

When we were teenagers and brought friends home we knew two things. First, we knew Dad would make them feel very much at home. He was Mr. Hospitality.  Second,  we knew there was a better than even chance that they would go fishing with dad—in the summer on the pontoon and in the winter in  the ice house. There they were captive audiences. They would get a decent lesson in fishing (though rarely catch any fish) but they would also hear about how very much God loved them. Dad let his light shine no matter the season.

At work he was mocked for his testimony and resented for his hard work ethic. Some co-workers would spread their arms out wide making a cross when they passed my father. They did it in derision. My father saw it as a compliment. And they would complain that he made them look bad because he found things to do while monitoring the dials for heating and cooling instead of just sitting all day.

One of the times I witnessed my father’s light shine most brightly was when I was about twelve years old. He brought a young Japanese couple home for dinner. Tommy and Joyce Tanamori shared a meal with us. Then my father and Tommy sat in our living room and shared their mutual faith in Christ and prayed together. At the time I did not realize what a bright light this was. It would be almost 20 years later when I would learn about what my father suffered at the hands of the Japanese. Yet, he extended hospitality and love to this Japanese couple. I learned to let my light shine from the best.

My father was diagnosed with Alzhiemers disease in 1999. It progressed rapidly. In 2001 Dad and Mom visited us. We were living in Chicago at the time. Dad and I worked on a project together refinishing an old trunk but in the middle of our work he forgot who I was. It was painful.  He also was no longer able to judge his surroundings well.  This fact became clear when  we took him to see the Billy Graham Center for Evangelism on the Wheat College Campus.  As we were coming out after touring the center, we realized Dad was not with us.  We turned around to go back and find him and as we did he was coming out of the building with the biggest grin on his face.  He commenced to tell us that he had just witnessed to the two women at the front reception desk.  .  . of the Billy Graham Center for Evangelism! His mind was not fully engaged but his light was still shining very brightly!

In deed as well as word the light of Christ shined even through the pain and suffering he experienced. I was an average little girl who grew up poor and plain. But, as a result of my father’s example I learned to let my light shine, too.  

In 2010 I traveled to the Philippine Islands and Japan to retrace my father’s footsteps as a prisoner of war. I began painting, drawing and writing about this experience. Through this journey I expected to learn much about my father’s life. What I did not expect was to learn so much about myself. The light of Christ shining through him left a huge imprint on me. The person and pastor that I am today was significantly shaped by what he experienced and how he lived out his faith.  Forged By War: A daughter shaped by a WWII POW Story is a testament to this light.


Candie has shared some really powerful, yet tender, stories about her amazing father. What part of her story most resonated with your heart and why?


Candie's father allowed the light of Christ to shine with him in the good times and in the times that were so horrible, most of us could not imagine. His story reveals that he allowed the light of Christ to have its way in his life. How can you, taking this example, allow Jesus more freedom to allow His light to shine through you in your present circumstances?

Candie Blankman: Born and raised in Minnesota now gratefully settled in Southern California. Wife, mom, restaurant manager, public school teacher, bible teacher, speaker, now pastor and beginning writer and painter. Candie has been married 35 years and together, she and her husband have three great children. She is also a Presbyterian Pastor in Downey, CA.                                                                                                                   In her own words, "I am pastor/head of staff for a wonderful multicultural congregation in Downey. I was a pastor in Chicago for seven years before that. I love helping people and assisting them in connecting with their Creator."       

Don't miss Candie's book: 

Click pic to get ordering info*

Forged by War: A Daughter Shaped by a WWII POW Story

Author Candie Blankman is offering the FIRST 10 readers who share this post a free, autographed copy of her book!! **UPDATE** ALL 10 FREEBIES HAVE BEEN AWARDED! Thank you for posting the link!**


You can still purchase your copy at a great price on Amazon and Kindle!

Thank you for spreading the word about our "SHINE" Series by posting the links to your blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter, Google+, etc. 

* Also available for Kindle readers here

Hide it under a bushel? NO! I'm gonna let it SHINE!

Looking back, I wish that letting my light shine were as easy as I had expected it to be when we transplanted our lives to Amsterdam almost six years ago. 

In Matthew 5:14-16, makes it seem so simple: “a city on hill cannot be hidden…put a light on its stand” and “let your light shine.”  Upon moving here, I had to ask myself “if it is really this simple, why is my lamp not shedding pure light in the dark around us?”

 So why are our lights not shining? What keeps that pure light within us from illuminating the darkness?

Perhaps we have baskets covering our lamps after all. If this is the case, how can we remove those things that conceal the light within? The writer of the book of Hebrews instructs us in chapter twelve to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race that marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith”.  Later in the same chapter, he illustrates that discipline is a natural expression of a father’s relationship with his child. Likewise, as children of the Heavenly Father, he disciplines us in order to share in His holiness and to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace. In other words, as we grow in our relationship with our Father, trusting Him through obedience to His Word, He cleanses our lives and removes those “baskets” that have covered His light within us. While painful discipline and perseverance cannot be removed from this process, what a beautiful promise that we may share in God’s Holiness and experience a harvest of righteousness and peace. How bright must be that lamp, giving light to everyone in the house!

Another reason that our lights may not be illuminating the darkness is simply because we are not taking them into dark places. Too often, we content ourselves to remain in the company and security of other light-giving lamps.  This was a hard lesson for me to learn on arriving in Amsterdam. I’m ashamed to confess that I didn’t even know how to truly befriend non-believers or converse with other women who didn’t share my faith. The church has an essential role in reaching the lost but we cannot forget the example that Christ personally set before us. Even though Jesus regularly taught in the synagogues, He chose to minister among the masses, to dine with sinners in their homes, to disciple a tax collector and to converse with the Samaritan adulteress woman one day by the well. No matter where you live, there will be people around you who will never enter a church but would appreciate meeting someone for a coffee and a listening ear.  There are women who may not ever accept an invitation to a women’s conference, but when they get sick or have lost a loved one, they will readily accept a hot meal.  Meet them in their dark places and let your light shine.

Who does God bring to your mind as you read Katy's challenge to meet women in their worlds and let your light shine?


Have you found creative ways to allow Christ's light to shine through you to others who may not be interested in a relationship with Him? How can we share His light without blinding people with it?

About Katy Darnell...in her own words:

I am a Georgia girl married to the love of my life and we have served as church-planters in Amsterdam, The Netherlands since 2006. Our oldest son was 6 months old when we moved here and the greatest surprises ever, our twins, were born here almost 4 years ago. We bike everywhere, freeze most of the year and are thankful everyday that God allows us to be here!