Showing posts with label Biblical counselor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Biblical counselor. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

New Beginnings - By Cheryl Laurenza



Amelia Grace Photography


 
Is 43:18-19 Message

"...Forget about what's happened;
don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand–new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."
 

I've been praying, meditating and thinking about what it means in God's economy to move forward, press on, not dwell on the past etc. It's clear that the focus must be on trusting in the Person, not the circumstances. I've had much help and clarity from practicing this, and I say practice because I often do not get it right...but there's grace for that:) 

January gives us a clear line in the sand to mark this change in focus if we don't allow the enemy to get us focused on how we've failed, been failed or feel ill equipped for the journey ahead. We can't just erase our memory, nor should we push unhealed hurt or grief down deeper. It's about perspective, as one writer said we look at where we have come from (which is usually quite a climb already that we have achieved) rather than looking at how far we have to go as that will quickly overwhelm and paralyze us. It's what you focus on like when you're rock climbing right? You don't look back or down, you don't look at the top, but at the next hand or foot hole right? (not that I have done this in the physical sense-yet :)  

 We have no idea what's coming up, yet we only have to take that next step, even better, He is the foot and hand hole or spike. We need only follow the guide whose gone there before and who stands ready to help us one step at a time. We have to move forward though, we cannot go rogue and expect we know how to "fix or manipulate" our situation as this usually fails and causes more fall out and we lose ground.  

So if you're feeling discouraged, depressed or down, I want to encourage you to look up, keep moving, if you come to a fork in the road- take it as you are gently led. I saw a quote from Spurgeon that blessed me today let me paraphrase..." I often find myself in a dark place of depression just before God moves in my life or ministry." It may be that you are on the threshold and the enemy knows this. This year, let's all agree together to focus, look up, and be aware that we are being, held, led and supplied. Our future is bright, even though we may not see it now.  

Walking with you all,
 

Cheryl Laurenza, MA, LPC, NCC CPCS, ACS 

The Refuge Counseling Center, LLC
3211 South Cherokee Lane
Suite 640
Woodstock, GA 30188
P: 678 693 2281
F: 888 971 3910 


 

Monday, July 29, 2013

I Wanted to Yell STOP! - A guest post by Cherie Zack


I Wanted To Yell STOP!

ByCherie Zack 


There are times that I have felt unloved by my husband and hurt by his words or careless gestures. Many times I have wanted to yell, "Stop!"

I wanted Bill to know how I really felt, but feared 'punishment' from him. I wish I knew when this seed was planted. What I do know is what kept my mouth closed was fear!

Fear that he would yell at me.....
Fear that he would hate me.....
Fear that he would leave me.......
Fear that he would no longer love me.......

Everyone goes through situations in their lives that create fear and weakness. Fear can be paralyzing and is so unhealthy spiritual and mentally.  Are you with me?

This fear drew me to unhealthy thoughts. Unhealthy needs. Unhealthy places. Things had gotten so out of control I finally realized one day that I needed help.

The fear I struggled with resulted in the same perpetual thought running through my mind. “I want a husband that saw me as the only girl in the world, who loved me unconditionally and recognized that I was a work in progress.” And yet this was not happening. Why?
Perfect love casts out fear.

I did a key-word search on the word perfect and 1 John 4:18 leaped at me. 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  

Punishment!! There is one of my key words. God was showing me that perfect love is only found in my relationship with Him.  Not Bill. And the revelation finally hit home.  What I was asking Bill to give me was perfect love. And then it hit me…

Bill can't give me perfect love because he is not perfect.”

As I meditated on this statement God whispered the following words to me, If you want change to begin in Bill, change needs to begin in you first! This thought was so in my face that an internal struggle with God began to take place.

"Why do I have to change first?" came right out of my mouth along with other thoughts as well.   God stopped me with this one question…

 "Do you love Bill enough to surrender your fear to me?"

Big, big, question for me.  So big in fact I almost said no! God was asking me to trust Him in a place where fear had resided for so long. In a strange way, I found refuge in the fear.  But Fear was now gripping my heart.

Could I let go?
Could I trust God in this area?
Could I trust Bill?

My heart began to beat so fast I could hear it with every question that gripped my mind. Lord, please help me. Can I let go of fear?

Are you dealing with Fear? Can you let Perfect Love have its way?  Surrender was so scary for me. But I have learned that God will catch me no matter what I face or the decisions I make.

It's been a few years since that day.  I have struggled along the way but I have also seen change happen in me and even in Bill.  

Sometime I can hear God say, "Good job, Cherie. Now you're getting it!"

Can you relate?

Father,  we thank you for our husbands, no matter how imperfect they are. Teach us to love without fear and let change begin with us first!  In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.
His strength for my weakness,
Cherie 

Cherie Zack is the founder and president of The Imperfect Wives and Imperfect Wives, Inc. She has been ministering to women for more than 10 years. She is a certified Biblical counselor in the areas of Marriage and Family and Women’s Ministry. As well as being the founder of The Imperfect Wives, in 2010 Cherie was appointed Director of the women’s ministry department of the South Carolina District Council of the Assemblies of God where she serves more than 100 pastors and women’s ministry leaders. Cherie and Bill have been married for 19 years and have 4 children. They reside in Beaufort, South Carolina.