The Pressure is Off ~ by Debra Courtney

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The Pressure Is Off

by Debra Courtney

"Cast your cares on the LORD..." Psalm 55:22

I have just taken on a new class, one that is so challenging.  I asked myself, "Girl, what have you gotten yourself into, by thinking you could do this?"  I felt and am pressured!  Has this ever happened to you? 

I am reminded about the time a family member and I went to Dublin, Ireland.  We decided we didn’t need to take an all-inclusive bus trip like the other boring tourists.  No, we would just tour Ireland on our own at our own pace and enjoy the trip so much more!  So we flew into Dublin’s airport and went to get the car at the car rental place there on the airport grounds.  I asked for a map of Dublin, and when I looked at it I could not believe what I saw.  I said to myself, “Girl, what have you gotten yourself into?”  Then when we get to the car, the steering wheel was on the left hand side, and I had to drive on the left hand side, I looked at the person with me and said, “Girl, what have we gotten ourselves into?!”  Needless to say we were pressured with what we had gotten ourselves into!  Back in the States before I booked the trip, I thought to myself, “I can handle this," but when it came time to handling it, I was extremely pressured.  My stomach was all in knots the whole trip while I was driving.  It was a pleasant trip when I was not driving.

Now I find myself in the same way, but this time I really prayed and asked for and got many counselors in order to obtain wisdom before even signing up for this class.  I am in my second week of this writing, and let me tell you I am experiencing the pressure.  This is a challenging class.  One-fourth of the class is on their 2nd or 3rd time of retaking the course.

I woke up early this morning thinking about this class.  I usually wake up in a spirit of prayer and worship, but not this morning.  I woke up in a spirit of pressure and thinking about this class.  Had I really missed it in my prayers?  Had I really missed it in listening to my many counselors that told me this class is a challenge?  I was at peace when I signed up for it.  I was at peace when I prayed about it way before the class started.  I had told the Lord, "If this class is not for me, shut the door.  If it is, open the door.  I am here to do your will, not my will.  The decision lies with you, Lord, not me." 

Have you ever had something happen in your life when you really thought you had to come through?  This was my thinking this morning.  After I had gotten up from my quiet time, I went and got a cup of coffee.  (I don’t like coffee that much).  I didn’t go to the new workout class I had just signed up for.  I was feeling the pressure of this other class.  Then it came to my spirit.  “Debra, why are you under pressure so much?  The pressure is mine.  It is my job to see you through this class.  Roll your pressure upon me.  You are to do your part and trust me to do my part.”  Talk about a revelation!

These things we know about giving our troubles to the Lord and laying them at His feet for He cares for us, we hear this preached and taught all the time, but I had gotten myself into such a state of panic and pressure that even my time alone with the Lord (my Quiet Time) was disrupted by thoughts of defeat.  It is not like me to be that way.  Nothing is to take first place in our lives.  First place belongs to God Almighty, then all the rest falls into its proper place! 

Now I have “NO PRESSURE!”  The “PRESSURE” is the Lord's; He is my provider.  He can handle it!  Girls, do I breathe better!  

• What in your life is causing you pressure?  
• How have you been handling it thus far?  
• What is the Father encouraging you to do even now to roll that pressure onto His capable shoulders?

Debra Courtney’s life goal is to inspire and motivate women globally to become all they have been created and designed to be by using the guiding principles of their Creator’s word in gaining wisdom, understanding their designed-given personality identities, and creating their independence!  

“I want women today to be transformed out of your lack of fulfillment, frustration, and pain through the benefits of coaching; to stand and run with the promises that have already been promised to you by your Creator; to be challenged and to be stirred up to go places that you have never dreamed of; to be motivated in wisdom where you can live a life above and beyond in the exploration and discovery found in the “who” of how you were created. 

Coaching is ideal for taking you through this process, for closing the gap between your “Here and Now” to “There”.  Coaching gives you the ability to explore and discover the life you were designed to live according to the values and priorities that affirm your purpose  and passion and define “who” you are!” 

Your words create an environment to enhance your living experiences in ways this world cannot.  Your words create an environment to enhance your journey in ways this world cannot. 

Click here to view Laura Story's video "I Can Just Be Me"

Laura Story - I Can Just Be Me (Official Live Video) from laura-story on GodTube.

I Can Trust God

Photo by Melissa Haas

I Can Trust God 

By Melissa Haas 

I can trust God, and I am totally dependent on Him for my needs. 

Does this statement ring true for you?  Sometimes the best way to gauge our level of trust is to think about times when the opposite of trust or faith rules our hearts. When we are not trusting, we live in fear, and when we are afraid, we usually do one of three things:  We become immobilized, we run away, or we try to gain/regain control of the situation.   

I’m curious.  How do you normally respond to the fears in your life? 

Fear in itself is not bad.  There are indeed things we should be afraid of—like the spitting cobra that found its way onto our front porch in Kenya one time or a tornado touching down near your home.  When we are in physical danger, fear lets us know that we need to get out of there and soon!  God gave us the ability to feel fear, and He understands when we are afraid.  In fact, He even tells us to fear Him.   

Being afraid, then, is not sinful, but sometimes the way we respond to our fears is offensive to God.  Let me give you an example.  

Remember back to the time of Moses.  God had delivered the Israelites from the bondage of Egypt, parted the Red Sea for them to pass, fed them and gave them water as they journeyed through the wilderness, and dwelt among them, leading them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.  At this point in the journey, the Israelites had arrived at the border of Canaan.  At last the Promised Land was in sight!  God told Moses to send out spies so that they could give testimony to the fertileness and bounty of the land.  The spies went out and came back.  They reported that the land was indeed flowing with milk and honey, but there was a problem - There were giants in the land! (Numbers 13-14)  What did the people feel when they heard the report?   

The Bible says in Numbers 14:1-4 that all of the people “raised their voices and wept aloud.”  They grumbled against Moses and God, saying, “If only we had died in Egypt!  Or in the desert!  Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?  Our wives and children will be taken as plunder.  Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” and they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.” 

Wow!  Crazy Israelites!  What were they thinking?!  God had delivered them miraculously from the hands of an evil pharaoh.  He had preserved their lives and parted the Red Sea, and He had cared for them all the way to the fulfillment of His promise.  Here they were, ready to go back to being slaves!  What’s up with that?  Couldn’t they see that God was trustworthy, that they could depend on Him to meet all of their needs?  Couldn’t they see that the Sovereign Lord of the universe loved them and had blessings and life in His plans for them?   

Of course, we would never trade bondage for life over a few measly giants, or would we? 

My friend and sister, failing to depend on God for your needs always results in bondage. When we take our lives into our own hands, we always fail, and it’s so easy to make excuses for our failures.  It’s so easy to bug out and go back to Egypt.  If we will take our eyes off the giants for just a few moments and raise them to look at an even bigger God, we will hear Him speak words of courage and peace. 

God, I’m afraid.  Do not fear.  I am with you.

God, I’m so lonely.  I will never leave you nor forsake you. 

No one knows me.  I knit you together in your mother’s womb. 

No one really loves me.  I laid down My life for you.   

I can’t do this, Lord!  You can do all things through My strength. 

I’m too broken to be fixed.  Nothing is impossible with Me. 

You let me down, God.  My ways are not your ways. 

I’m tired of it all.  Come to Me, and I will give you rest.

I will never be free!   If I set you free, you will be free indeed! 

There are lots of fears that rule our hearts and lives, fears that must be entrusted to the Faithful One.  Take some time today and let Him comfort your fears.  Lean back against His chest, take a deep breath, and tell Him out loud, “I trust You, Father, and I am totally dependent on You for everything I need.

Melissa Haas currently serves as the Director of Restoration Groups for HopeQuest, a ministry group in Woodstock, Georgia, which helps people struggling with life-dominating issues.  Melissa began her service in ministry in 1993 as an international missionary to Kenya, East Africa, where she and her husband Troy worked as church planters among the Turkana people.  When a significant marital crisis ended their missionary service, Melissa and Troy began a journey of healing and restoration that now serves as the foundation of their ministry to others.  Passionate about spiritual community, healthy marriages, and intimacy with God, Melissa regularly facilitates small groups and teaches and speaks on these topics in order to help the Body of Christ grow relationally with God and each other.  Melissa and Troy and their three children reside in Woodstock, Georgia.

Click here or on picture below to watch Kari Jobe's music video "You Are For Me"

I Wanted to Yell STOP! - A guest post by Cherie Zack

I Wanted To Yell STOP!

ByCherie Zack 

There are times that I have felt unloved by my husband and hurt by his words or careless gestures. Many times I have wanted to yell, "Stop!"

I wanted Bill to know how I really felt, but feared 'punishment' from him. I wish I knew when this seed was planted. What I do know is what kept my mouth closed was fear!

Fear that he would yell at me.....

Fear that he would hate me.....

Fear that he would leave me.......

Fear that he would no longer love me.......

Everyone goes through situations in their lives that create fear and weakness. Fear can be paralyzing and is so unhealthy spiritual and mentally.  Are you with me?

This fear drew me to unhealthy thoughts. Unhealthy needs. Unhealthy places. Things had gotten so out of control I finally realized one day that I needed help.

The fear I struggled with resulted in the same perpetual thought running through my mind. “I want a husband that saw me as the only girl in the world, who loved me unconditionally and recognized that I was a work in progress.” And yet this was not happening. Why?

Perfect love casts out fear.

I did a key-word search on the word perfect and 1 John 4:18 leaped at me. 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  

Punishment!! There is one of my key words. God was showing me that perfect love is only found in my relationship with Him.  Not Bill. And the revelation finally hit home.  What I was asking Bill to give me was perfect love. And then it hit me…

“Bill can't give me perfect love because he is not perfect.”

As I meditated on this statement God whispered the following words to me, If you want change to begin in Bill, change needs to begin in you first! This thought was so in my face that an internal struggle with God began to take place.

"Why do I have to change first?" came right out of my mouth along with other thoughts as well.   God stopped me with this one question…

 "Do you love Bill enough to surrender your fear to me?"

Big, big, question for me.  So big in fact I almost said no! God was asking me to trust Him in a place where fear had resided for so long. In a strange way, I found refuge in the fear.  But Fear was now gripping my heart.

Could I let go?

Could I trust God in this area?

Could I trust Bill?

My heart began to beat so fast I could hear it with every question that gripped my mind. Lord, please help me. Can I let go of fear?

Are you dealing with Fear? Can you let Perfect Love have its way?  Surrender was so scary for me. But I have learned that God will catch me no matter what I face or the decisions I make.

It's been a few years since that day.  I have struggled along the way but I have also seen change happen in me and even in Bill.  

Sometime I can hear God say, "Good job, Cherie. Now you're getting it!"

Can you relate?

Father,  we thank you for our husbands, no matter how imperfect they are. Teach us to love without fear and let change begin with us first!  In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.

His strength for my weakness,

Cherie 

Cherie Zack is the founder and president of The Imperfect Wives and Imperfect Wives, Inc. She has been ministering to women for more than 10 years. She is a certified Biblical counselor in the areas of Marriage and Family and Women’s Ministry. As well as being the founder of The Imperfect Wives, in 2010 Cherie was appointed Director of the women’s ministry department of the South Carolina District Council of the Assemblies of God where she serves more than 100 pastors and women’s ministry leaders. Cherie and Bill have been married for 19 years and have 4 children. They reside in Beaufort, South Carolina. 

Friends Who Cancel, Q and A From the friend Me? Conference 3.16.13

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Friends Who Cancel

ByLucille Zimmerman

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way…” 

Ephesians 4:15

Q. What is the best way to deal with a friend who constantly breaks her plans with you?

A. The best way is to have a gentle, but honest talk with her.

You can keep the focus on yourself (e.g. “I get frustrated when we make plans and then you break them. I realize life is unpredictable but it happens so often.”)

Say it as gently as possible. You don’t need to show anger or frustration; just loving honesty.

There’s a wonderful book called Boundaries written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I requested the audio version of the book from my library so I could listen to it in my car.

The book teaches you how to set a boundary and how to have a consequence in a loving Christian way. The hard part is following through on the consequence---you have to decide what you would be willing to do should your friend ignore the boundary you set with her.

Emotionally healthy people both care for each other and tell the truth to each other. Driven by our own insecurity we often resist the need to confront because we fear the following things: 

• Losing Relationship:  The fear that the person will withdraw either emotionally or physically from them. 
• Being the Object of Anger:  They do not want to receive someone’s rage or blame about being confronted. 
• Being Hurtful:  They are concerned about wounding the person and hurting their feelings. 
• Being Perceived as Bad:  They want to be seen as a nice person, and they fear that they will be seen as unloving and unkind. 

You are not responsible for how the other person reacts to your reasonable boundary. People tell you who they are by how they respect your boundaries. Cloud & Townsend assert that, “the extent to which two people can bring up and resolve issues is a crucial marker of the soundness of the relationship.”

Here’s an example: “Suzy, it seems like you cancel so often and I find myself getting frustrated. If it continues I won’t be able to make plans with you. I love you but I need to do this in order to care for myself.”


Lucille Zimmerman is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Littleton, CO and an affiliate faculty professor at Colorado Christian University.

She is also the author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World. Through practical ideas and relatable anecdotes, readers can better understand their strengths and their passions—and address some of the underlying struggles or hurts that make them want to keep busy or minister to others to the detriment of themselves. Renewed can help nurture those areas of women’s lives to use them better for work, family, and service. It gives readers permission to examine where they spend their energy and time, and learn to set limits and listen to “that inner voice."

Restore the Years

                                Restore the Years

Photo Courtesy by Lori Kennedy

By

Lori Kennedy 

“…I will restore to you the years the swarming locust has eaten…” Joel 2:25 (NKJV) 

As I was going through my healing journey, the book that I was reading kept referring to the scripture Joel 2:25, “…I will restore to you the years the swarming locust has eaten…” (NKJV)  I always struggled with understanding how this verse applied to my life.  Even though I can use the time I have left well, I couldn’t go back and re-live those lost years in victory.  So how does that restore the lost years? I know each of us will interpret scripture a little differently and through our own lens.  This was one scripture that had always eluded me just a little bit. 

I was asked to come give a short testimony and lead worship at a high school girl’s bible study.  Someone else was originally scheduled to do this and I was called in at the last minute due to a death in the family of the scheduled speaker.  I knew God was up to something here. 

By the end of the evening, one fifteen year old had taken her mother in the other room and told her that she had been raped two years earlier.  I have found that ministry is bittersweet at times.  I was heartbroken that this had happened to her but I was also filled with joy that she had the courage and boldness to tell someone.  Now she could begin to heal!  Her mother told me that her daughter was standing taller and with her head held higher when she left that evening than when she had arrived.  This young lady told her mother that she felt that a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders that night as she revealed her secret.  

On the way home, I was in joyful and prayerful communion with God.  In that moment, I was being molded by the Potter as He revealed this scripture to me in a new and unique way.  He spoke quietly into my heart that through my obedience in telling my story, I was empowering this young girl to have the courage to realize and reveal her wounds.  Once this occurred, she could begin healing.  Healing would now come earlier in her life. 

What a praise this revelation was to me!  God showed me in a moment in time that more years could be restored to me than the years that I lost!  This was happening through the healing in the lives of others that would now come at an earlier time due to my obedience.  If this girl had waited to give up her secret and the chains it held on her life, continuing to make her decisions through fear and self-protection until adulthood, she may have lost joy and hope in her youth as I did.  Now she had the opportunity to live those years in victory.  In a mysterious and miraculous way only God can accomplish, those years can be restored to me through her!

The Granary

Photo by Lori Kennedy

The Granary

by

Lori Kennedy

“Don’t you know that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for?” (I Corinthians 6:19 – The Message)

I recently heard this old story about how the spot was chosen for God’s holy temple…

Two brothers worked in a common field and a common mill.  Each night they divided whatever grain they had produced and each took his portion home.

One brother was single and one was married with a large family.  The single brother decided that his married brother, with all those kids, certainly needed more grain than he did, so at night he secretly crept over to his brother’s granary and gave him an extra portion.  The married brother realized that his single brother didn’t have any children to care for him in his old age.  Concerned about his brother’s future, he got up each night and secretly deposited some grain in his single brother’s granary.

One night they met halfway between the two granaries, and each brother realized what the other was doing.  They embraced, and as the story goes, God witnessed what happened and said, “This is a holy place – a place of love – and it is HERE that MY temple shall be built.”

Brotherly love and self sacrifice for others becomes a place of Godly love… A HOLY PLACE!  THIS – YOUR BODY - is where the Holy Spirit lives and where God builds His temple!

Is there someone you have hurt, intentionally or unintentionally that you need to confess to and reconcile with so that your body can become a Holy place where God can build His temple?

Is there someone that you need to forgive so that you can feel God’s Holy love in your heart?

Is there a place in your life where you need to be more self sacrificing and less selfish so that the Holy Spirit can live in you and show itself to others through you?

Is there a way that you are living that is squandering what God paid such a high price for?  Are you desecrating your body which is God’s sacred place?  Is your body – heart, mind – soul – strength – pre pared to be God’s temple?

God reigns His grace down upon you – He wants to build His temple in you!  He has given you free will to decide how you want to accept that precious gift of grace!

Overcoming the Obstacles of Fear & Shame

Photo by Amelia Grace Photography

Overcoming the Obstacles of Fear & Shame

Cheryl Laurenza, LPC, NCC, BCPCC

"Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

These were the Giants that held me bound for many years. I was saved out of
a wild lifestyle of alcohol, drugs and other sin. I had a very low opinion of myself, my abilities and my future. There were those that helped me with that sadly enough, yet that is a topic for another time. I was saved at 23, and it was not until I was about 31, that I felt "called" to become a Christian counselor.  Though God had been at work in my life for several years and I had been radically changed, I still struggled with fears of failure, ridicule, rejection etc. I remember asking God “Are you sure you didn't mean someone else?" I believe He was clear in telling me that he was calling me to minister to the body . . . essentially Is 61:1-4

Because of the shame grid and the way that I saw myself, I was overwhelmed by the thoughts about what it entailed and I was concerned if I could even do it. You see I had dropped out of HS at 16, and now at 31, married, with a preteen, working full time-how in the world could I do this? God reminded me that he equips the called so I was

prayerfully holding Him to it.  

Long story short, I had to take the GED, I

didn't realize you were supposed to study or perhaps take a class, so I

signed up. I passed with a very high score (again, all due to His Spirit's

leading and empowering). I had to apply to a college and be accepted, some

do not take GED's. I applied only to one, that was known for their

Psychology undergrad....I had to submit written references from my Pastor,

and others, as well as a 10 page reason why they should accept me. Surely

they would not accept me; after all I had nothing to offer-no pedigree,

no accomplishments, etc. They did! I started the following Fall Semester and

did so while still working and going to school at night, till about

1045pm . . ..Those were very hard times where I thought surely I had

heard God....He gave me grace. . . mercy . . . wisdom, and the ability to

manage all things. In the midst of this my husband was transferred to

Georgia from Massachusetts with me having one more year, and an awesome

job at a Christian inpatient facility. That's another installment

for another time. 

We came here in November, 1996. There was so much change, loneliness, and loss,

but there was so much more promise. My daughter had to deal with all of this as well. I

believe, though it was hard on her, she wanted to come as much as Jeff & I.

So, I was able to finish my program by being an "at large" student, and I

graduated from my college back east and then went on to my Master's program,

which I completed in 2000/2001. I have now been a fully licensed

therapist in GA for the last 9 years, as it takes another 3 years of

working under someone to become fully licensed. Some great positions had opened up for me as well, but it's too much to tell. I have stood amazed at His grace and leading every time. I believed Him when He called me, that He would make a way, and accomplish in and through me, what He needed to happen. 

It was back in 2004 as  I was working at Wellstar's HOPE Program in Marietta,

that I received a call from the Director of Counseling at FBCW who asked me to interview for a Staff Counselor position at my church. Initially I said

no, as I loved my job and had been promoted recently. They asked me

to prayerfully consider it, which I did as I had felt a strangely,

familiar leading. After several months of asking, praying and

interviewing, I was offered a position and I accepted it. I started in

February, 2005 and I learned and grew so much there that it allowed me to step out on my own this past December and create The Refuge Counseling Center in Roswell, GA.

The bottom line is this, I was afraid and I felt like I was somehow

disqualified from doing anything for God because of my past, my lack of

education etc., . . .. But God . . . and the words from Isaiah 43:18 "behold, I am

doing a new thing . . ." and  Isaiah 61:1-4 " The Spirit of the Lord is upon

you..."doing a new thing . . ." have shown me that I am his daughter, I am designed with a

purpose, and that He will fulfill his plan for me regardless of all my

fear, shame, barriers etc. I pray that each one of you will hear this as

encouragement to move forward with that call or dream on your life. Never

allow the Enemy to steal from you what God is speaking in your heart. It

is a journey for sure, but one you will never be alone in, never.

Blessings,

 Cheryl Laurenza, LPC, NCC, BCPCC